h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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I want the soles of my shoes to be fitted with an array of detection devices to allow me to walk with confidence in city streets.
The shoes will have little cameras in to allow dog poo to be imaged and recognised at 50 paces. The image recognition software will be based on neural network
technology to allow for the possibility of training the system for different cities. Parisien dog poo is, after all, different from London dog poo.
The shoes will have infrared detectors to distinguish fresh poo from old.
Smell is obviously important - the shoes will be able to detect and analyse all the complex constituents of dog poo.
When a dog poo is detected, the shoes will alert the user, using Blue Tooth, to the user's head set or mobile phone so that avoiding action can be taken.
For example - "Warning - fresh poo detected 33 paces in front - estimated cooefficient of nastiness 93.8"
Finally, the shoes will have built in GPS capability - when a dog poo is detected, its position and details are noted and sent via SMS to a central system. Other users who subscribe to this location based service can be alerted using a convenient technology such as SMS.
For example - "Warning - nasty poo detected at 1:43pm outside the Rose and Crown"
This service will be known as Doggie Advanced Recognition Poo Alerter Network - DARPA Net for short.
[link]
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"Why are you stalling, come on!"
"I'm waiting for my boots to boot..." |
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A big + from me. But I want the whole potato too. I don't just want dog poo detection, I'm a consumer. I demand demand demand! |
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I want puke detection (I'd imagine the SMS will be jammed every Saturday/Sunday morning) with content verification letting me discern between mere spittle and a real Jackson Pollock. I want chewing gum detection, recently laid and still sticky tarmac detection, loitering youths of ill intent detection, oh and urine detection (again a big plus for Saturday shopping in the city centre). |
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[I need to subscribe to a service that tells me where I can find poop?] |
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I'd put a different spin on it - you would subscribe to a service where you can avoid poo. |
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A big + from me too!
I just had a thought about this! You *all* remember that small children were in the habit of whimsically putting lolly sticks into dog poo, right? (of course you do!).
Do you think this could have been a prototype system? |
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All one would need to do is reverse apply whatever technology currently attracts my shoes to such stuff. |
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what's the point of this idea? do you want to avoid steping on poo or do you want to know its contents? This seems weird. |
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>what's the point of this idea?
I want to avoid stepping in poo...
Others may want to know the contents of poo...and then step in it... or not
Yet others may want to make money out of steering people away from or towards poo. |
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very worried by nickynacks statement //I don't just want dog poo detection, I'm a consumer// |
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+ for the idea. This should be a legal requirement for all manufacturer´s of espedrailles (just try and cleanthem afterwards). |
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