h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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Dog De-Stimulator
Allows TV watching in peace while your frisky pet calms himself down | |
I have a Springer Spaniel pup who, at 6 months, cannot distinguish a female canine from bags of chips, my PC, and various visitors to my humble abode.
This is unfortunate to say the least. However, the problem relieved itself on catching him de-stimulating with the use of a toy stuffed bear.
This
is surely an opportunity for a more specific product. For example, a model female Springer Spaniel which had a temptress bark and growl module would surely be appreciated.
How about different species of dog to combat this hair-raising problem across the board?
Hotdoll, the Sex Doll for Dogs
http://gizmodo.com/...for-dogs-253334.php
Designer's sketch at feeladdicted.com behind a hideous flash intro; so I'm linking to the gizmodo shots. [jutta, May 17 2007]
[link]
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I have just seen the entry for Pet Sex Toys; however, I am suggesting a plastic eroticised dog, so it's a bit more specific. |
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Why not do it the old-fashioned way- Use a whip. Show 'em who the bitch is. Dogs way dig Leather and Chains, so get some Black Leather S & M Outfits for Fido while you're at it |
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Aaah, so. A springer spaniel pup. You have my condolences. Exercise is a good thing (dogs have endorphins too), but you already knew that. You probably also know the Alpha Dog Rollover, but I'll mention it anyway: knock the puppy down and pin him with a hand on the neck, while making your favorite I'm-very-annoyed-with-you sound. |
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[After brief interruption by wife]: Anyway, the A-Dog Rollover, used sparingly, might cool your pup's juices at critical times. As far as a particular dog love-toy, build it and he will come. Or not. I know of no established precedent. |
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Why is this still a problem? I thought we already
established a cure for this behaviour? Force-feeding
the dog a lemon? |
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hold puppy by back legs with head and body in a burlap sack...take clean razor blade and make two incisions above the two little bumps, pop the "bumps" out through the incisions and cut ligament attached to "bumps", drop "bumps" into waste can, douse the area in Betadine....let the doggie go..... oh, wait, that's how we do male piglets...... call your vet. |
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Hideous, Susen. Dreadful. Stomach-churning. No words describe my aversion. **Clinging tightly to manhood area*** |
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Forgodsakes have the vet do it. Your dog would never forgive you an unanesthesized castration. |
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Overheard, apropos of a spaniel puppy: "If you can make it through the first two years without killing him then he'll be a great dog." |
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globaltourniquet: thank god you've never come across the practice of 'libbing' lambs. Its much the same as susen describes it for pigs, only done without the burlap sack, the razor blade, the waste can, the Betadine. Oh yes, and its traditionally done with the shepherds teeth. |
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We use our teeth with the lambs but I suspect not because it was more sanitary or practical but because it looked a lot more rugged and manly, even for the women. It also allows you to put together a list of things you would rather never do again. |
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ah....Scotland....where men are men and the sheep are scared...... |
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I think that was the point of the original idea, much like 'Pet sex toy'. |
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Just get your pooch a PARTNER |
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sell fido to a adult film company that does doggylove or horselove videos and your problem will be solved. no more humping and afew dollars in your pocket. |
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Wow i don't wanna even touch this with a
ten foot pole.......or in Rover's case a ten
inch wang. It's just not right..... |
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