h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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If you can't walk well, you can get welfare benefits because it interferes with
your
ability to live properly. Likewise, if you're blind, you're lacking in one of the
characteristics of living organisms and it's considered appropriate to
compensate
for that disability. You can go through
the whole lot - growth - grants to
modify
cars for dwarfs; respiration - oxygen cylinders, respirators, maybe inhalers and
so on.
But what about reproduction?
If you can't dance, you get up on that dance floor and attract nobody, or you
just
avoid the whole thing. You are reproductively impaired to some extent.
Granted
you can meet people in other ways but deaf people are often not blind and so
on,
so that's not a valid argument.
Therefore, i propose that government-employed dance experts be appointed to
whom one can go in order for one's dancing to be assessed. If it's sufficiently
bad, you can get a grant for it. Who knows, it might even look like a silly walk.
"Early indications from biochemical tests suggest that the men who were better dancers were also more healthy."
http://www.bbc.co.u...nvironment-11223473
Hot topic of the week it seems! [DrBob, Sep 08 2010]
[link]
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I read the other one and knew this was yours - funny old mood you're in today. |
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For those that are unable to dance to attract mates, it is best to take inspiration from elsewhere in nature. For example, you could dig trapshaft in your garden and trick prospective mates into falling into your shaft by means of carefully placed copies of supermarket tabloids or soft-core pornography. |
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Yes, [po], i think i'm temporarily someone i'm not. |
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Good point, [calum]. You could maybe jump out of your front door in the
middle of the night and grab them. |
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<ponders mental image of [nineteenthly] dressed as a giant trapdoor spider> |
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Ah well, there's also that spider which ties up its mate before sex. Seems
rather familiar somehow. |
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Fishbone from me. The welfare system is an artificial interference with natural selection. What you're proposing is spending *my* tax dollars to create a further generation of duds, and encumbering my (dancing) daughters with yet another tax burden. |
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// spider which ties up its mate before sex // |
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Notably, the male has to tie up the viciously predatory female lest he become her next meal. |
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In your species, it is apparently normal for the male to pay for dinner; in this case (as in yours, we understand) he merely goes the extra step of risking paying for dinner with his life ... |
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Fair enough. Most murder victims knew their murderers and are sometimes
married to them. |
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That reminds me of the joke where the guy who is ashamed of his wooden eye goes out dancing. If you don't know the joke, I sympathize with you. It is not as funny as the joke about the pig with the wooden leg. |
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You're right, that one IS funny. |
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Actually, carnivores tend to hunt as solitaries or co-operative packs, and rip herbivores' throats out. They rarely predate their own species* |
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It took me ages to work out what you meant by "predate" there, along the lines
of how something was supposed to exist before it existed. |
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Anyway, it does happen. Woodlice eat each other and i'm pretty sure a lot of
filter-feeding animals with planktonic larvae couldn't help but eat their own kind.
Don't sharks eat each other before birth? |
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//Homo Sapiens excluded// |
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There used to be dances for people who can't dance, such as the quadrille, the hokey-cokey and "stripping the willow". They work out cheaper. |
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Well, in that case there should be government-sponsored clubs for people who can't dance where they do those. |
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Not advisable, it's an offence in some jurisdictions. |
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// goverthmenth taketh awayth// |
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Typing with your mouth full, [bigsleep]? |
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According to recent research (linky>, men who are rubbish at dancing are also old, weak, ill and impotent. I, of course, am a most splendid dancer. Get on down! |
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Well, according to that, [DrBob], i should be a dead eunuch. |
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You sound like a sad case, 'teenthly. If I were you, I'd start taking dance lessons right sharpish before an angry mob of image fascists come and drag you out of your house, make you wear a cap and bells and force you to wrestle with bears for public entertainment.
Other interesting facts from the study are that the rythmically challenged are also unable to change fuses or lightbulbs, can't cook anything more complex than cheese on toast and can't whistle without dribbling.
I thank providence than I am a disco god. Young ladies have been known to become instantly impregnated just at the rumour that I might be dancing near them some time soon and others have fainted dead-away at the sight of my snakey hips...although that's normally quite late at night, so it might just be the amount of alco-pops that they've consumed that causes that. |
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O wad some Power the gift tae gie us |
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To see oursels as ithers see us! |
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It wad frae mony a blunder free us, |
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What airs in dress an gait wad lea'e us, |
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One outbreak of verse deserves another, I feel
The Scotsman is mean, as we're all well aware
And bony and blotchy and covered with hair
He eats salty porridge, he works all the day
And he hasn't got bishops to show him the way!
The English, the English, the English are best
I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest.
Flanders & Swann. |
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The British Isles are composed of four races of man |
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. . . the Scottish, who keep the Sabbath--and everything else they can get their hands on. |
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. . . the Welsh, who pray on their knees on a Sunday--and on their neighbours for the other six days. |
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. . . the Irish, who don't know what they want, but are willing to fight for it anyway. |
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. . . and the English, who consider themselves a race of self-made men, thereby relieving the almighty of a terrible burden.... |
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