h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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This is a small camera fitted to the bowl of your bog to allow you to locate and remove your shite without the risk of spread. Your all aware of the perils of the sticky shite. You reach down to wipe away the filth from your ass and squish, your wiping and spreading it all over the place. Up round your
balls the works. My camera allows you to spot any hangers on, sticky or otherwise and to tackle them with the appropriate wipe.Eg Sticky shite, dabbing motion, not the wipe.
A screen appropriately positioned beside your toilet allows you to carry out the cleaning process with speed and precision. No more chocolate spread for you guys.
This device may appear costly, however cctv cameras are everywhere. Simply head down to your nearest tube station, screw that baby off the wall, water proof it, hook her up to an old monitor, position her correctly, easy peasy, poopsy deesy.
Love the garlic brothers
(??) Cleg nuts
http://earth.beseen...0957/guestbook.html
A chugnut by any other name... [lubbit, Dec 11 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Reflective Toilet Tissue
http://www.halfbake...e_20Toilet_20Tissue
Same idea, different technique [phoenix, Dec 14 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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I've spent enough of my life looking at specs for Japanese electronic toilets, so I'm not going to bother researching this. I can't remember seeing any lavs with cameras though, so maybe this is a new idea. (I thought Rods said you'd need lightning, so there's your electrolysis.) |
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Practice, practice, practice. |
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(Please don't use "egnor-yuck" anything. Feel free to use [RodsTiger yuck boring] if you want.) |
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Chuck Berry had something like this but for a slightly different reason. I think it got him into trouble. |
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I seem to remember a Simpsons episode where the family went to Japan. Bart and Lisa were channel hopping in their hotel room while Homer went to the toilet and eventually came across a channel showing Homer peering into the bowl. Fortunately we only had to listen to the sound of him taking his trousers off. So baked in cartoon form, but only if you get someone else to watch it appears. |
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This is the grossest description of an idea I've *ever* seen here... |
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Guys, guys, of course the description is going to be disgusting, its a disgusting subject. You can't discuss improved methods for shit extraction without getting your 'hands dirty'. Its just not possible. All of those with a squeamish disposition should have interpreted the title,'dirty arse detector' and kept well away. What did you think it was going to be about, flower arranging; fluffy bunnies? Don't shoot the messenger. |
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I skipped most of this, being the delicate, polite young lady Iam, sort of. You cannot tell from the title whats its going to be - it could well have been a flower arranging detector that warns you when the stems need trimming off. Could have been about ponytail fasteners who knows. |
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The messenger and the message are one in this case. |
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A solution without a problem. How nice.
Most people seem to get anal hygiene worked out fairly well by age 5 or 6. Do you have some particular "issues" with your mother? Or is your diet so rich that you excrete a semi-fluid caulky glue-like substance?
If fastidiousness is your motivation, and the current market of toilet hygiene products is not sufficient for you, then perhaps you should consider a colostomy. |
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I believe the offending items you refer to are called "cleg nuts". Not sure why, but the internet has at least one other instance of them so it's not just me. |
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[1/4b] A solution without a problem. I admire your way with words immensely. |
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blissmiss, po - thank you. I've been having more fun commenting lately. |
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Guys, if you keep annotating this, it won't go away... |
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I don't want this to go away. This is a perfectly legitimate idea, especially bearing in mind the dangers of fecal bacteria getting onto clothes and spreading infections. If people are unable to wipe correctly, we should not ignore their problem, we should consider how best to help. Being disgusting is not on jutta's list of reasons for deletion. |
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Cleg nuts. Hmm. We call 'em "dingleberries" here in the South. |
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[shift] Gross but funny ;). Heard it before but it's still funny. |
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when installing lights for the dirty arse detector use UV bulbs for a nice arse tan and it also eliminates the hassle you get from the cops when your tanning your tea towel holder at the beach |
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How would you keep the camera clean? |
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Perfect use for old GoPros. |
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[garlic twins] obtained a user account in November of 2001 and posted five ideas of this ilk in the next three months. |
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His absence leaves a much-needed gap. |
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