h a l f b a k e r y"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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"Scott, what's that pile of wires you're messing with?"
"I'm making a cable unscrambler so I can get skinimax."
"Oh, it looks almost like a doorbell chime."
"Nope. Skinimax stealer."
"Well, glad to see you're taking an interest in the illegal arts finally. Maybe you'll think a little harder
about becoming an evil veternarian like I suggested."
As Dr. Evil slowly turns, and leaves the room, Scott breathes a sigh of relief. Hours of searching the halfbakery, and his frustration with his father's inept door knocking plan led him to develop the dinging dong device. It did indeed look a lot like a doorbell chime, because that is what it was. However, hidden in the chime mechanism was a second circuit card, one with a clock, and an algorhythm program. The algorhytm program developed a semi-random date and time, each about a month apart, on which the doorbell would chime without anyone at the door, thus causing the inhabitants to check the door, and find no one. He would install it in Dr. Evil's lair as soon as he turned 18, and would be able to move out. That'd teach Dr. Evil to be partially frozen for most of Scott's impressionable young life.
PS
To make this idea extra evil, I intentionally titled it so some poor souls would expect a "dong device" of some kind MUAHAHA!
Knocking door
Knocking_20door
Analog device for similar applications. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 13 2006]
Evil door II
Evil_20Door_20(2)
For the ultimate in vile and wicked doors install the Evil Door II to compliment the dinging dong device. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 14 2006]
Phanton knock-and-runner
Phantom_20Knock-and-Runner
Inspirational, but not quite as subtle. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 14 2006]
[link]
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OK, I'll bun this one + for random dinging. |
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Hey! That's not a dong device at all. |
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I can see this working, far better than the knocker anyway.
Your ideas seem to be moving down the road of fan fiction - but there's nothing against that here since the idea is there. |
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I preferred the knocker. nobody even looks for doorbells in my neighborhood, and I was trained to never let a circuit card do the job of a complicated clockwork device. |
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[ye] I like your writing on this one, too. |
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//I was trained to never let a circuit card do the job of a complicated clockwork device// - You have learned well young padawan, your training is nearly complete. |
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We have purposely trained him wrong as a joke... |
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yrx, are you in contact with Dr. Evil? Have you been listening through the wall at them again? |
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Also, can we rename you 'The Fourteenth Stream'? |
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Sorry [dbmag9] I'm just a trained cat, I can't handle the kind of complicated issues you bring up. |
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Also, cat's pick their own names, which owners must guess at. Why would you prefer to call me the XIVth stream? |
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"To make this idea extra evil, I intentionally titled it so some poor souls would expect a "dong device" of some kind MUAHAHA!"
It would be even more evil to open with references to pornographic media or the like. Then, the readers have to get a few paragraphs into it before they realize it's not about a "dong device". Oh wait... |
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How about a "dinging dongle"? In addition to the usual features, it makes the "someone just signed on to the IM" noise about once an hour. |
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