Dearly Departed

You love your computer...I know you do. It is your private sactuary and basically an extension of your brain. You are also very upset if people read through your downloaded e-mails or look through your photos....even if they are just harmless photos of New York sunsets sent to you by Dr. Curry.

The truth is, most of us would turn pale white and start to shake if anyone read through our folders (OK, blissmiss might not...but the rest of us would).

Enter "Dealy Departed" the lastest in computer privacy software. You, the owner of the computer, install the DD program. The program is hidden and only a serious of keystrokes, invented by and known only by you, can bring this program to the front.

The program works as a time bomb. Every time you open it, you reset the clock ticking at 48 hours.

If, at any point, you fail to reset the clock before the time runs out, the program works as a virus and destroys all the files and folders and then itself.

What is left is a computer that is as impersonal as the day you brought it home from the store....before it started sharing your secrets and your life.

Viola! Our significant other will never learn of our...um....passion for....um.....well, nevermind. Uncle Joe will never get to snoop through the poetry you write in your deep dark moments. Cousin Larry won't be able to find your secret formula for handicapping the ponies. And the children...um, if you have children...won't be able to get their little paws on your personal diary which tells which child you actually do love more.......

Well, you get idea.

The only argument I see against this is that employees may install this software on their computers at work. Fire me!!! Ha! Go ahead and fire me.....just see where your annual reports end up.....

(was looking for the category Computer:Software --- was surprised it doesn't exist)