h a l f b a k e r yBusiness Failure Incubator
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Deadline Inbox
You know, I think this deadline is pretty much not negotiable. | |
An inbox with some number of trays - say, seven - which are mounted about a central axis. Each has its own central post mount and is weighted to stay level.
New projects are placed on top.
The inboxes rotate slowly about their central axis. At the end of a set period of time, the final inbox
dumps all of its contents into a desk-side incinerator. All tasks not completed therein are lost, for better or worse, to Hephaestus.
This probably should not be installed at desks of people who work in the field of explosive manufacture.
Alternative title: "A justification for an otherwise-bored purchashing officer to get to buy incinerators in bulk."
Book Wheel
http://upload.wikim.../5/50/Bookwheel.png
Early internet based on planetary gear set. Everyone using it had to have access to the same books, so as to network people in that manner. [rcarty, Feb 27 2012]
[link]
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// This probably should not be installed at desks of people who work in the field of explosive manufacture. // |
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Bit they're the sort where you can expect your biggest sales ... |
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Not everyone who works in explosives R&D is a giggling mentally-unstable pyromaniac. But the others soon get weeded out ... |
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[+] The burner should be tested on a daily basis with brimstone, just to please upper management who want both hellish conditions *and* productivity, not *or*. |
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//the others soon get weeded out// or die in
suspicious circumstances. |
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[+] Good managers know that most problems go away
if
you ignore them long enough, and, for the others, if
they're important, someone will send another
memo. |
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Perhaps the environmental impact review will go better if you have a Sterling engine / electric generator running off it. |
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I once worked a place (the place I was working when I found the HB, no less) where the only way I could find out what was happening in the company was to keep a bowl of chocolates at my desk. Your incinerator would likely attract a similar stream of visitors. |
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// die in suspicious circumstances // |
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Actually, there's nothing "suspicious". Everyone knows what happened, how, and why, and when. Sometimes the "who" is a bit uncertain. |
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But the usual method of eliminating suspects on the basis of "means, motive and opportunity" is ineffective, as all three are present in abundance. And besides, no invesitgator wants to be the next to fall victim to "an unfortunate sequence of events". They tend to just accept the explanation of "He was cleaning it, and it went off" and go quietly away, glad to have got out alive. |
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// keep a bowl of chocolates at my desk // |
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We are intrigued. How did you manage to stop the bowl being almost continuously empty without going bankrupt ? |
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That trick was baked by my father (though undoubtedly not
exclusively by him) in veterinary school. He
had a big jar of m&ms on his desk, which he welcomed his
roommates to help themselves from. There was one fellow
among whose many obnoxious traits was his tendency to
take great heaping handfuls out of the jar whenever he
could find an excuse to be in my Dad's room. This was in
the days when Ex-Lax chewable tablets were green and
chocolate flavored; word circulated around the apartment
to avoid the green m&ms. Naturally, there was one person
who didn't get the memo, so to speak... |
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We now return to your regularly scheduled anno stream. |
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Any time I was away from my desk, the chocolate was under the watchful eye of Zorah, my Farsi-speaking Java-programming flyswatter-wielding co-worker for whom the last two pieces of dark chocolate were always reserved. |
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