Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dead Plants

 Buy a dead plant - you don't have to forget to water them anymore
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Fact - plants die when I look after them. I'm just to lazy to bother feeding them. Starting off a vibrant green they slowly and painstakingly become a crisp, brittle brown. Having regressed to their 'natural' household state there they remain until I am finally moved to chuck them. Why not remove this hassle and buy them dead in the first place without having to waste time in the lack of effort of not looking after them.
—NorthernMonkie, Apr 18 2002

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       one simple step forward: buy them and immediatly chuck them. or don't buy them at all. I do sympathize, any plant in my vicinity drops dead, an anti-greenthumb I guess.
—rbl, Apr 18 2002
   

       Baked: Pot Pourri.
—stupop, Apr 18 2002
   

       I try not to apply perfume to any plants that have recently demised. It would be like "I'm sorry that I forgot to water you, here try this...". You can buy smelly dead plants - these have rancid (and probably carcinogenic) odours applied and the occasional spot of artificial colouring. This is not what I require. I want a bog standard dead plant, in a pot, with the bone dry mud. None of these fancy additions thank you very much. I apologise if this was not clear from the idea.
—NorthernMonkie, Apr 18 2002
   

       good for you NorthernMonkie, you stick by your idea through thick and thin. you want dead plants, you have dead plants. hows your girlfriend doing? by the way.
—po, Apr 18 2002
   

       Eva Braun?
—po, Apr 18 2002
   

       I love it! Can I order a few dozen dead evergreens for my front lawn to go with my dead grass?
—imaguitargod, Jul 12 2004
   

       well, just jump off a freakin building and speed the whole party up then!
—daseva, Jul 12 2004
   

       Just one word: plastic
—grieger, Jan 22 2006
   


 

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