h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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As soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew I had made a serious error.
"So you don't like small conifers in hanging baskets then, well thats fine, you do the f*ing baskets" was Mrs Ivan's(2) response to a little constructive critique concerning the naffness or otherwise of certain planting
schemes.
Later, when I had brushed the compost out of my hair and applied antiseptic cream to the wire cuts on my forehead, I realised the enormity of the blunder. This years aerial demonstrations of the floral arts would be not only be my design responsibility, no help in maintenance, feeding and watering would be forthcoming. The real problem being that in actual fact my contribution over the last five years had actually been restricted to putting the hooks up and tacit acceptance between us that I only had to go near a plant to kill it within seconds.
Then it struck me, why put plants in the baskets anyway, its a bit of a well worn concept, why not suspend large glass bowls of tropical fish, ham(p)sters, exotic birds, baby rabbits dyed in brilliant hues, etc from the sturdily wrought brackets. I am quite good with animals, its just plants that loathe me.
What do you think, given adequate provision of shade, exercise, water and food?
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Suitable for the porpoise. Um, you need some lotion? May I remind you - aforementioned Bride #2 of IvanIdea has a considerable quantity - just rub your head on the sheets. Rinse and Repeat. |
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watch your feet on the way home tonight. hamsters and rabbits in glass bowls indeed. |
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Hamsters in wheels high above the ground, merrily spinning. You could attach streamers and have them twirl as the rodent revolves. |
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// I actually like the smell of that wood chippy stuff on the bottom of hamster cages...I have been known to "huff" it on occasion... // |
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I hope this is *before* the hamsters have used it. |
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[IvanIdea] Your newly adopted anecdotal style of idea writing really reminds me of cock-eyed TV detective Colombo. I think it must be the references to Mrs Ivan. |
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What does "huff" mean in this instance? Please clear this up because I'm having visions of Blissmiss chopping it into lines and snorting it for some reason. |
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[stupop], to clear up your confusion:
1) Snorting involves inhaling powders, often with the aid of some sort of tube.
2) Huffing involves inhaling vapors, whose source is generally some volatile chemical dispensed into the bottom of a paper or plastic bag.
3) I only know about any of this second hand, so I may have some details wrong. |
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Thanks [stu] (I think) I have always found that a liberal dollop of style can almost always mask the absence of content. I'd have preferred a Phillip Marlow comparison but then you can't have everything. |
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[bliss] sometimes you really worry me, I am having difficulty imagining someone dancing around a maypole bedecked with ribbons then sneaking off for a bit of glue sniffing. Actually now I've written it down it makes perfect sense |
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