h a l f b a k e r yInexact change.
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Place a dachshund in a special bag and rest the little fellow at the top of a snowy hill. Wait for the signal, and once ready give a firm push. Time them over a series of heats, and the dog who makes it down the quickest is given a blue ribbon and then buried.
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ben, have you been eating your paints and drinking your paint thinner again? |
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We might have concerns about doing this even to cats, foul vermin that they are. Doing it to helpless little Dachshunds is reprehensible. However, if you'd like to try it in person, [benfrost], we have a mailbag ready, and know where there's a steep hill. |
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I've nothing against dachshunds but my twisted little brain does find that very funny. Croissant, despite the cruelty. |
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[admin: spelling changed daschund -> dachshund] Somone let me know if Ben's used an accepted variant that I'm not aware of and I'll put it back. |
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Quite cruel. What's next, hooking one to your fishing line and chumming for toxic sharks? Bad ben, sit. |
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If it lands in the icy drink, will it be a Dachshundae? |
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I have to admit that the mental imagery this conjures up is very amusing, so despite the possible controversy this idea has/may spark I have to vote for it. |
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This is the greatest idea ever. So much better than chihuahua punting. |
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for an extra dose of winter pet sport, add a jump here and there and see the little beasts flip and fly high in the air on their way to the bottom. cute! |
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Are you mocking the fine high-skill sport of luge? |
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to mock such a fine art would be to suggest alsation or even pony luge - but the dachshund - never!- no other beast has been more cleverly designed (with its little legs and pointed nose) for this snowy downhill pursuit! |
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I mock your skills of mocking! Ha! |
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But you luge lying on your back, feet first. Skeleton is the one where you go head first. So [benfrost] if you can think of an animal with a pointy, aerodynamic arse, you're onto a winner. |
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<smirks smugly> I've luged, y'know. Yes, on an olympic run. <ss> |
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Kangaroos have a pointy tail, and you could put a small booster rocket in the pouch for added speed. I'm sorry, I cringe even as I write this. Thank god ideas on the 1/2b stay on the 1/2b. Or do they? Don't even think about it, ben. |
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Is the race timed to when their noses cross the finish line,
or their tails? |
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How long does the track have to be to ensure that their
noses cross the finish line sometime after their tails cross
the starting checkpoint? |
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If you took a dachshund and let it's tail fall into the event
horizon of a black hole, would the head die of old age
before falling in? |
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I've done an indicated fifty MPH on a road luge - and I have an aerodynamic arse. |
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Great if you go down arse-first I suppose. |
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