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Custard Cult
A Cult Designed to soak up potential Cult Members. | |
Cults often try to seem appealing but in fact appear to be sinister. They appeal to the religious urges of people for whom regular religions don't pass muster. The Custard Cult would look like a cult but would in fact be innocent.
People would evangelise by talking about the miraculous powers
of custard (see below), use custard as a metaphor and organise custard kitchens for the poor.
Custard-Filled Speed Bumps
http://www.halfbake...led_20Speed_20Bumps
The original custard idea. [Aristotle, Apr 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Self-Healing Bullet-proof Vest
http://www.halfbake...Bullet-proof_20Vest
Custard to save people from bullets. [Aristotle, Apr 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Inflatable Car
http://www.halfbake...ea/Inflatable_20Car
Custard as a transport of delight. [Aristotle, Apr 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
(??) Baked2
http://www.samuri.co.uk/custard/
I didn't realise it was magical... [riposte, Apr 11 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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My custard cup runneth over |
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Although seemingly innocent, what if as in virtually all other religions they were divided (say into Birds and Ambrosia) this could lead to yet more conflicts of religous beliefs resulting in all out custard war.........maybe something like Bugsy Malone? |
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In that case people might meet their just desserts. |
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Heresies would be resolved by custard tasting, custard cooking and even custard walking depending on the depth of the schism. |
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That site uses evangelism in a Microsoft sense, Peter. |
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UnaBubba: Custard messiah might be martyred in a custard powder explosion. |
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The "Custard Cult" should have the following characteristics. |
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Members would close ranks in response to outside interference, disperse when agitated and become more dangerous while dispersed. |
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i.e. Dilatant, Thixotrophic, and potentially explosive |
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p.s. Religious icons would be hard to come by. I am not sure about nailing custard to a cross... |
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As a cult the symbol could be to carry spoons in your breast pocket so only cult members could recognise your willingness to eat custard at any time. |
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I have to say that I'm amazed by the Custard Cult link. I would have though it was down to Guerilla Halfbakers if it was not for it's presence in Google's cache and dated references to it. |
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BTW standard reponses to Custard Cult prayers (for the Thixotopes anyway) would be "Pour it on". |
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And the first miracle of the Custiah (Custard Messiah - sad but efficient) could be turning water into custard. |
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I was at summer camp where the custard was of suitable strength to walk on... |
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Note the varied powers of custard - it inspires all, supports all and is remarkably yellow. |
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All other non-Newtonian dessert products are simply reflections of the universal custard principle, DeGroof. |
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So would Jell-Oites be the equivalent of Mormons? And would pudding be considered as the second coming of custard and mean that the end of desserts is at hand? |
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walking on custard as the second miracle of the custiah. Although this is technically possible as long as you move quickly. |
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"Utterly senseless, everything is senseless!" Eclair-siastes 1:2 |
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I think I'm converting! Praise be, I do believe in the truth and the power of the custard. My conversion is due the miracle of the face of all goodness appearing to me in bowl of custard. If you would like to feel the power then you may bid on the item on eBay. |
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And lo, he did walk upon the surface of the custard. |
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