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Children. They move about a lot. Often this is irksome,
especially if you have a hangover at the time. However,
"protection" is just one word in our lexicon of love when
it
comes to the dictionary of child care. And what finer
way
to protect a child than to employ the non-Newtonian
properties
of custard.
Simply construct a pair of dual layer child-size trousers, a
skirt will
not work, and place custard between the inner and outer
layers. Frequent connections between the inner and
outer
layers will be required to prevent all the custard ending
up
in the hem region. Now, with the child wearing them,
they
will be allowed to move about at a sedate, hangover-
friendly pace. If they try and do any of that whizzing
about
the place they're so fond of, they will find their trousers
a
suddenly-rigid inhibitor.
If the child is hit by a car, or they drop the
sledgehammer
they're playing with, considerable protection will be
afforded to their lower regions. Should the child be
required to stay still, parent-activated vibrating motors
concealed in the trousers will solidify the custard
rendering
the child immobile and lightly armored, often the ideal.
Custard is non-newtonian
http://en.wikipedia...Newtonian_behaviour
But it is in the same catagory as water. [scad mientist, Dec 16 2013]
Bird's Custard, or imitation custard
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Bird%27s_Custard
Essentially corn starch or Oobleck, but called Custard in the UK. [scad mientist, Dec 16 2013]
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Annotation:
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This idea is without fault. |
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I am always curious as to exactly how long custard stays fresh and creamy. Does it not go rotten or lose its consistency? I am bewildered as to why one would choose a food product for such use. |
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This is the custard idea that never existed. |
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Great idea. [+] although I believe that my parents had
thoughts along this line many years ago. I can clearly recall
many mornings after the night before having one of my
parents yelling out to me "Stop running around making so
much noise, you little *custard!" |
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custard isn't non-newtownian, oobleck is. |
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If you want weighted clothes to impede their
movement we may as well use lead-imbibed clothing,
like the lead aprons for xray machines |
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//custard isn't non-newtownian, oobleck is.// heretic |
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//custard isn't non-newtownian, oobleck is.// |
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In the UK, apparently custard is essentially Oobleck. See second link. So in defference to the people who started this fine site, I have no problem calling it custard when I hang out here. |
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//custard isn't non-newtownian, oobleck is. // |
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Real custard doesn't contain cornstarch, and isn't
non-Newtonian (or, more precisely, is Newtonian).
So-called "instant custard" does, and therefore is (or
more precisely, isn't). |
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//In the UK, apparently custard is essentially Oobleck.
See second link. So in defference to the people who
started this fine site, I have no problem calling it
custard when I hang out here.// |
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Huh? Unless you're thinking of different “people” than I
am, I'm fairly sure she's not British… |
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Well I guess I don't know where Jutta is from, since a large number of the active posters here are British, and usually when I hear about people getting to gether for a physical meeting it's over there somewhere, so I just assumed... |
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And by people I was referring to Jutta as well as many of the long time posters who added ideas to make this site worth visiting. |
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Of note: In at least one local (Los Angeles) supermarket you
can buy Bird's Custard in the “international” section. So far
I have not bothered. You can also acquire Marmite there.
So far I have not dared. |
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according to Wikipedia uncooked imitation custard is the stuff. |
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I'm quite bothered by the fact that if a child wearing these trousers requires a good spanking it truly is more likely to hurt me than him. |
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Not if you hit him with his sister. |
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//I'm quite bothered by the fact that if a child
wearing these trousers requires a good spanking it
truly is more likely to hurt me than him// |
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Well, I have no children so my opinions on the
subject neither exist nor would be valid if they did. |
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However, there's nothing to stop you specifying a
lockable flap. |
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