Cubicamo

If having a job where accomplishing nothing bothers you, then you should set out from the beginning to accomplish nothing. Be there, but not there. How can you honestly claim to have been at work, but asked to do nothing?

Introducing Cubicamo(tm).

A smart suit of cubicle upholstery, nattily tailored and lined to prevent itchiness, would make you less of a target for more stupid assignments from middle management. Colour choice for the fabric is of course determined by one's work environment. Buttons for the outfit can be had in chrome, black, cadet blue or putty.

Where too much attention is still attracted, smart headgear can also be fashioned to further reduce your Boss Radar Cross-section.

To further increase your ability to blend in, the suit is available as a three-piece, with the vest styled to match your empty office chair (no vinyls, please), and shoes are available in a limited range of sizes in four different shades of carpet: Navy, Burgundy, Forest Green and Puke Tan.

Also available (pricing upon request) is Nonworker Invisibility Training: Resisting the Lunchcart, on VHS from Amslack Int'l.