Croon-a-Rant

A program which processes your complaint into a song. Simply click on the "Rant Composition Wizard" , and speak (yell) about what's wrong, recording onto a .wav or other sound format. Then choose one of several music formats. The beta version has: Country Western, Smooth Jazz, Hip-Hop, Whiny 90's, Blues, and Broadway Hits. The program matches your rant with the best fit among each subcategory. Blues, for instance, would have songs with themes such as "I can't shake the blues," or "My baby left me for my best friend." The program will examine the phrases and words of your spoken file, and will choose one of the subformats based upon the best match. There will be a highly digitalized and unemotional male or female voice to choose from. Then, you have the option to review, refine, and ask the program to try other formats. The complaint will be spoken along with the cheesy sounding music. Once you are happy with your musical complaint, Croon-a-Rant takes the battle to the offending party. Just enter the phone number, and a dialer would persistently call them until your complaint has been fully delivered while you do less stressful things.