Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?

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Crazy Product Gauntlet

Your Product meets a Consumer Reports line of gladiators (of a sort)
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This idea is similar to a luggage company giving one of their suitcases to a bear in a zoo and seeing how the luggage holds up.

This is best relized as a comedic television research-show. Instead of a bear though, there is an expansive set of conveyor belts throughout a large warehouse. We take your product and put it at the start, perhaps letting you select which path your "widget" will follow through the labyrinth of trials and tests. You, and the rest of the viewing audience, then get to watch your item pass through the rigors of...

oversized rubber mallets pounding
five genuine kangaroos bounding

shot from a cannon to a pillow
put on the back of an armadillo

dipped in juice of purple beet
falls from over thirty feet

torched and drowned and stoned and lynched
false swing swung, see if it flinched

tickle it with cashmere sweaters
sticker it with sticky letters

freeze a fly on it, squeeze a stye on it,
sneeze or tease or peas and pies on it

spin around and add some glue
how did it fare when it is through?

You get sent home with a video tape of the process for your own quality control research, and a t-shirt with a catchy quip on it.

macncheesy, Dec 18 2007

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       Perhaps a Fabergé egg was the wrong choice of product...
phoenix, Dec 18 2007
  

       In the UK, this is called Royal Mail, or Heathrow Baggage Handling. True destruction testing for the cost of a second class stamp. Bargain.
8th of 7, Dec 20 2007
  

       Haven't see this on the spring lineup, but still waiting for Hollywood to call.
macncheesy, Dec 05 2011
  
      
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