h a l f b a k e r yThere goes my teleportation concept.
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But... cranberry sauce comes in jars. |
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I said "cranberry sauce comes in jars." I can try typing louder if it helps. |
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<adopts pose intended to denote keen attention> |
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The pose is probably less effective than changing the batteries in your reading aid. |
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What strange land does [evil] come from, that produces cranberry sauce in cans (which, incidentally, are more correctly called 'tins'), for gods' sake? |
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Hypno disk/starlight mint pattern? |
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Dear gods. Is everybody here on something tonight? |
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//jars// How does one get the cylinder of cranberry sauce to leave such a base container, intact ? |
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I suppose a recording of the ceremonial <splorch> sound could be played, but it sounds terribly complex. |
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//a cylinder of cranberry sauce// |
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Mad. The whole world has gone mad. |
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Cranberry sauce does WHAT in jars?! |
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This entire idea, comments and etc. has left me utterly
speechless. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. |
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My Mother, and her mother before that, and so forth, all
lovingly ground the metal can opener around the can of
cranberry sauce, every Thanksgiving, and then plopped the
shit down on the same damn plate, year after year. What's
good enough for those loony bins, is good enough for you all.
Done. |
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[blissmiss], have you ever had cranberry sauce served by anyone else, elsewhere, for comparison? It is quite possible that what your loony mother was serving with the turkey was in reality mulligatawny soup, which might explain your unfavourable opinion. |
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<Obligatory Blade Runner reference> |
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I am also, incidentally, rather disconcerted by comments such as //cylinder of cranberry sauce// and //jellyous//. |
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As one of the few Englishmen here, it is presumably up to me to set the entire record straight as regards cranberry sauce, since everyone else seems to be either confused or American, or both. |
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Cranberry sauce is a dish consisting of whole, ripe yet still sharp cranberries; a modicum of sugar; and, if you insist, a little orange zest. The whole is simmered until the cranberries are beginning to break up, and then allowed to cool. Under no circumstances whatsoeveratall should it be (a) a solid mass, (b) jelly-like or (c) oversweet. Jelly is for children's desserts or, if you insist on speaking American English, for combining with peanut butter in a sandwich. |
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For reference, cranberry sauce is the direct analog of gooseberry sauce, a similar puree made of gooseberries which, being even sharper than cranberries, are particularly excellent with fattier birds such as goose. Hence the name. Why the cranberry was not called the turkeyberry (or why the turkey was not called the cran) is one of the enduring mysteries of existence. |
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Ooh I've got just the commercial you need to see then.
[link] Watch it to the end for maximum jiggleness. |
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//just the commercial you need to see then// |
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You see, [2fries], this is prexactly the kind of fundamental misunderstanding which explains why America never really made it big after independence. What the fuck is it with you people? You used to be English, for chrissake. |
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Give them a break, [MB]. They're more deserving of pity than condemnation... after all, they still haven't even managed to become Canadians, which is basically no more than taking the stabilizer wheels off your first pedal bike, when everyone else is already riding a 500cc Norton ... |
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Hey now, I am Canadian let's just get that straight right off... but I've sill never had cranberry as a side dish that didn't go <spludgtch> out of a can like that. |
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It's kind of like how Hawaiians 'Really' like canned Spam after being subjected to it during WWII, and how canned corned-beef and tomato paste spaghetti sauce is still a go-to recipe in my family even though the great depression, (hey there's an oxymoron I've never thought about before), is over.
One of my grandfathers used to spread lard on his toast every morning rather than butter because he got a taste for it. |
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<shrugs>
Taste buds are funny. |
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I've always liked the jiggle of the cran-jelly as it splats the plate, and how you can just shave off as much or as little as you want, and how it starts to melt and drizzle over the sliced turkey meat... |
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...well crap now I've got to make a snack before supper. I hope you're happy. |
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Oh, you mean there's people who like cranberry sauce? I thought
eating it was just an obligation at certain meals - like the turkey
himself. I do, however, rather enjoy some mild sculpture work making
various shapes in the gel - which is something that would never work
with that unfinished, undisciplined sploodge [Max]'s butler buttles on
top of his bird carcass. |
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I guess you could score the jar, put it in the freezer until it fractured,
take the glass pieces off, and serve the condiment frozen. I... uh... I'm
dubious. |
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All this talk of "it comes in a jar" changes my view of cranberries. See I always thought they grew inside empty cans farmers place on vines the way they get pears in bottles of Eau de Vie |
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Not extruded?... are you not sure? |
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Well, a cranberry is meant to be eaten with crane. And an elderberry, with Grandma. |
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As to raspberries, we'll file that for future reference. |
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//when everyone else is already riding a 500cc Norton ...// |
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Does Norton still exist and do anything other than occupy an
old castle? |
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We're sorry the British haven't yet evolved to modernity.
Must be the islander isolation. Although it does make them
rather fascinating creatures to study--the northern
equivalent to the Galapagos Islands perhaps. |
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