h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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This product would be specially
formulated
so that any residue left behind would be tasty and
delicious. Oh, and not poisonous. It would also come
with
several dozen fuses to start the cooking process.
The instructions might read "Sprinkle one tablespoon of
Doctorremulac3's "Da Bomb" cooking
powder onto each
side
of your steak. Insert the fuse, light and step back."
Though there might be an issue with the short intense
heat
creating a steak with a charcoal exterior and a bloody
raw
interior, surely there might be a perfect measurement of
thermite for any given cut of meat that would leave the
interior perfectly cooked with a crunchy seared coating
and perhaps anything beyond that simply burned away.
I didn't say it would be easy. Or even successful.
IDEA MODIFICATION:
A searing paste that you put onto meat, specifically sous
vide prepared steaks that need to be hit with a flame to
sear the outside giving it a pleasant, barbecued rather
than boiled look. Smear it on, hit it with a regular
lighter, (no fuse) and after a few seconds of a little
tabletop pyrotechnics, you have a beautifully seared
(and seasoned) steak, ready to serve.
[link]
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Oh god. [8th] is going to be all over this like a rash. |
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Your precognitive abilities are advancing in leaps and bounds, very much like a flea on LSD, but slightly less useful. |
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// I didn't say it would be easy. Or even successful. // |
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... and in that you were, for once, completely and entirely correct. |
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We are not even going to attempt a critique of the idea, partly because it's so bad that there's no obvious place to start, but more because it would be like cutting half of one wing and two legs off a fly and then placing it near a spider's web. It's childish, it's pointlessly cruel, and the outcome is never in doubt. |
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OK, yes, we still do it from time to time, when we can't find any kittens to douse in maple syrup mixed with Tabasco, but that's not the point. |
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If you Google "cooking with thermite", there are hits. |
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This could revolutionise the fast food industry. |
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Consumers would no longer need to worry about their burger or
kebab getting cold in the passenger seat as they drove home. All they
need to do is, on arrival, pull the metal ring on the packaging, which
drags the sparkler-like rod through the precisely calculated quantity of
thermite contained within, and then wait for it to burn out, leaving the
food at the optimum temperature for immediate consumption. |
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Baked for canned foods in WW2 and WKTE. Still available. |
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Baked, perhaps, but has it ever been commercialised on a consumer
scale? |
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I've certainly never seen an ad for a KFC ThermoBucket, or any such. |
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No way you could dilute this stuff enough that a
precise measurement of it could be sprinkled on
food to cook it eh? |
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Here's why I'm not sure this wouldn't work. You
could adjust this formula to burn at any
temperature and for any amount of time you want. |
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Remember, this isn't putting something on a
thermite grill, it's actually putting some mixture of
thermite and something else on the food to cook
it. And you'd have to do something to adjust the
temperature or else you'd burn through any pans or
grills you'd be putting the food on. |
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Totally wildly impractical? Eh, maybe. |
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A pottery like high temperature clay coating before the
sprinkle might work. The thicker the slower the cook, more
heat retention. Breaking "the" bread will have an older
perspective. |
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Odd .... call me old school if you must, but I always thought that C4 was the preferred fuel for wilderness meal prep. |
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Seem to remember my dad talking about using it to
heat coffee when he was the army. For those un-
familiar with the stuff, C4 burns
evidently. Guess you need a detonator to make it
blow up. |
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Being based on RDX (Trinitrocyclamine), C4 and similar
conformables burn with a fast, smoky yellow flame. They require
a primary to initiate thel - burning in small quantities isn 't
enough. |
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There are a number of hilarious party tricks using C4. |
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Ok, let me flip the script. |
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8, you've been tasked with creating a "cooking
paste". The outline for this product is the
following: |
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2- You paint in on your food or pour a layer of it in
a special pan, put the food in it and pour another
layer on it. (I added another approach possibly
addressing your previous critique of the idea) |
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3- You light it and it cooks the food perfectly. |
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4- Obviously you can use any ingredients you want. |
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We will check for Prior Art before posting here, as it may be worth patenting. |
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How about cooking with pistachios? Bulk pistachios can spontaneously combust, because they contain oils that oxidise and generate heat. A well-insulated container should be able to achieve the same result with few pistachios. Just pack your chicken in the centre of the nuts, and wait. |
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//Just pack your chicken in the center of the nuts, and
wait.// |
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"Hey Doc, those fillets ready yet? We've been waiting for two
days now, gettin' kinda' hungry." |
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Of course you could just make a paste that heats up upon
exposure to air. The big trick is making any of these "oven in
a tube" products non-toxic and even tasty. |
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Finely-ground pistachio powder, dispersed into air, ought to be
sufficiently flammable for any culinary purpose. |
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You know, this doesn't have to cook it, it can just sear it.
With that in mind this idea has taken a turn from
somewhat silly to having some actual utility. |
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There's a method of cooking steak I've recently discovered
called sous vide. It's where you slowly cook meat in a
vacuum sealed bag immersed in hot water. Comes out
very tender. Point is, the meat comes out looking grey
and corpse-like so you have to sear it with a blowtorch to
make it presentable. Really. |
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With this "Searing Paste" you just smear it on with a sauce
brush and hit it with a lighter. |
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Now the job is a lot easier and there could be several
ways to do this and, yes, it would be seasoned. |
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"Doctorremulac3's Searing Baste". |
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THAT could actually be a real thing. I would totally buy
it. Without the "Doctorremulac3" thing that is. Although
on second thought, having a mad scientist be the mascot
for the product might not be a bad idea. That or some
kind of demon. |
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