Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Almost as great as sliced bread.

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Concave Co.

“Thinking inwards for better sentience”
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On the eve of our ten year jubilee, we highlight some of our more popular concave products.

Concave Co.’s concave mouse pad is especially valuable for those computer users who lose and then have difficulty finding their cursor outside the screen perimeter. By always clicking and dragging from the middle of this pad, letting go of the mouse means it always rolls to the middle, and that the cursor always returns to its starting point.

Concave chips are a hot item. Not potato chips but casino chips and coinage. Their paraboloidal concaveness means chip stacks never fall over but can just grow higher and higher.

The hip present for Christmas this year is the flask wallet. While comfortably thin and butt-concave, this alligator and silver beauty holds both bills and booze with style.

Sole discs are doing well on the shoes of athletes as well as accountants. The concave energy storage devices act like the plastic toy ‘cups’ that can be deformed to later pop up when least expected. Our dependable sole discs, compressed by the weight of each step, then immediately pop back giving an extra hop and snap to your stride.

We shouldn't forget the full length concave mirror that flips the reflection allowing closer scrutiny of new shoes and toenail polish application.

Our concave bread slices are widely purchased by the clumsy and unlucky. By buttering (jelly, peanut butter, etc.) the inner surface, one nearly guarantees that the aerodynamic passage of a slice to the floor will end right side up. In those few instances where stray air currents cause catastrophe, the raised bread edges prevent spread-contact with a yucky floor. The secret of our bread slicer can now be revealed - its bowed band saw blade rotates like a jump rope while cutting curved cross sections through the loaf.

FarmerJohn, Nov 18 2004

To really look inwards, click here http://www.halfbake...dea/Introspectacles
[theircompetitor, Nov 18 2004]

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       Not sure about the mouse pad - it would never work if the user ever picked up their mouse and moved it.

Concave chips would be just as unstable, if not more so, in large piles.

Curved flasks have already been done; Wallets are already curveable.

Springy trainers have already been done. I don't think the concave cup poppy things would react quickly enough to be much use in running.

Concave bread slicer - I like this - It also has applications in the soup accompaniments market (concave bread has a higher soup-carrying capacity).
Another use for this bread would be in high-capacity sandwiches. By using two slices of concave bread 'facing' each other the volume allowed for sandwich filling is maximised without increasing the risk of leakage around the edge.
hippo, Nov 18 2004
  

       Non-circular curved chips would be stack-stable.   

       I now see flask-wallet combos are baked, but none are concave.
FarmerJohn, Nov 18 2004
  

       You need to design a concave toaster to toast the concave bread.
stupop, Nov 18 2004
  

       Still not sure about those concave chips. If only there was an illustration, then I might understand it better...
hippo, Nov 18 2004
  

       they would most certainly wobble a bit!
po, Nov 18 2004
  

       [hippo-po] Think of a bell without clapper fitting over another slightly smaller bell, except think flatter.
FarmerJohn, Nov 18 2004
  

       Concave and convex are just two sides of the same slice [Tabs] so I don't think it's gonna make much difference. [FJ] wouldn't the chips at the bottom be much smaller than the ones at the top of the pile in this case?
DocBrown, Nov 18 2004
  

       No, bad example. Identical, thin-walled bell shapes could fit over each other like stackable chairs.
FarmerJohn, Nov 18 2004
  

       Or casino chips could just be minature stackable chairs ("I'll raise you an Eames!" - "I'll see your Eames and raise you a Robin Day!").
hippo, Nov 18 2004
  

       I'm still looking for an ilustrated BUNGCO seal, logo and such.
Letsbuildafort, Nov 18 2004
  

       Okay [hippo], but which is worth more? I'll see your Robin Day and raise you a Corbusier. Although they don't stack very well. Love concave bread for high soup capacity - an edible alternative to the paper cup?
moomintroll, Nov 18 2004
  

       "Not two, not three, not four, not five, but SIX - that's right SIX ideas in one! We might as well be giving them away! So come on down to the [FarmerJohn] idea warehouse today, we've gone completely BANANAS!!!"
wagster, Jul 23 2005
  

       (Looks at a package of concave bread) How am I supposed to create my cat and butter powered perpetual motion machine with this?
Aq_Bi, Jul 23 2005
  

       You butter it on the convex side and strap *this* to the back of your cat.
methinksnot, Mar 12 2006
  

       Dear Concave Co.,
I was eating some dry cereal yesterday and when I poured it out of the carton into my bowl, it formed a mountain shape which caused the milk to splash off and out of the bowl when I poured it. I'm wondering if you make a cereal that automatically forms a convex shape when it's poured out of the carton, so that the milk doesn't splash? Thank you very much.
Phundug with two convex "U"'s
phundug, Feb 02 2011
  

       Are you going for a sponsorship deal with Nick Cave on this one?
not_morrison_rm, Feb 05 2011
  

       (groans) That pun deserves a punch up the conk.
mouseposture, Feb 05 2011
  


 

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