Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Coffee Whacker II

 Whack coffee and wake up
  (+3)
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This alarm clock features a ground coffee receptacle, some coffee beans, and a scale. Whether by turning a crank or slamming down a hammer the user is required to grind a certain amount of coffee before the alarm will shut up. Hopefully the exercise will wake the user and result in the required amount of freshly ground beans.
—Voice, Feb 20 2022

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       Just yesterday a friend of mine asked of a market stall holder, who was selling second hand tools, if they had a caulking mallet. The stall holder replied "I'll have to phone 'himself' and ask." I could clearly hear her talking on the phone and saying "there's someone at the stall looking for a coffin mallet"
—xenzag, Feb 20 2022
   

       Excellent. Heads off morning sex before the pass.
—4and20, Feb 20 2022
   

       Ha [+]
—21 Quest, Feb 20 2022
   


 

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