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"We'd like you to come work for our company. Oh, by the way, the "Employee of the Year" is chosen by us, is based on performance, and if you win, you get to humiliate and/or fire a co-worker of your choosing."
Think of it! The 70th percentile who are drifting through their corporate life now have
something to strive for every year! Work overtime! Do the work of three workers! If you don't, 'Murphy' may win Employee of the Year and you know he'll pick _you_ as his "Termination Candidate".
Individual competition between co-workers with termination at stake would raise the company's profits. All employees would agree to abide by these terms, upon hire. The choice is irrevocable (Termination Candidate is always fired) and selection is open only to those in your peer group. Watch the company loyalty soar!
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Reminds me of the idea that people in the wild west were very polite because they wanted to avoid getting shot. The top employees would have well kissed arses. |
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This is really going to do a lot for
the team spirit...
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I keep reading this as Co-Worker Termination Pack. |
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Hmmm... Let's see... How many employees did Enron have? And how much corruption, backbiting and subterfuge went on? Seems to me that if we encouraged such behavior within the proper framework, you'd get a more productive, honest employee. In fact, [MrKlaatu] has an excellent addition. Eventually, the board would consist of the elite, who needn't do any work except select employee of the year. Kind of like the rumor of working for Microsoft for five years and then retiring as a millionaire. Does that still happen? Did it ever? |
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UB, did you mean Co-Worker Termination Park, you know, sort of like an (un)amusement park where ex-employees are sent to be told they are fired, amidst the frivolity of a carnival atmosphere to reduce the shock (I'm getting a little deja vu as I type this - have we done this before?) Step up and have a ride on the Terminator! Pop a balloon to reveal how much your severance pay will be! |
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