h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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Long description of some activity or aspect of life, albeit not necessarily one which most people encounter on a daily basis. Reflections on its history, quite possibly entirely fabricated, with reference to its invention by someone French. Amusing, faintly philosophical musing on its positive aspects.
Further musing.
However. Description of the problems that make the activity annoying, or would if anyone thought about it long enough. Thoughtful concern.
Tangential comments about some commonly-known item, whose application to the activity is not quite obvious yet.
So.
With pride, description of product intended to fix these problems! Words of encouragement for people currently engaging in the activity without its assistance. Musing on its deceptive simplicity and helpful, user-friendly features. Description of how to use it.
Additional technical description of product, without inclusion of quite enough detail to be sure whether the product is actually possible. Helpful comments about additional applications and variations of the product, possibly to be developed/expanded on at a later date.
Casual mention and dismissal of details that make the whole thing likely to end with failure, or even large explosions.
[With apologies to MaxwellBuchanan and Da Vinci's Notebook. You are my inspiration, Max. I am aware you didn't ask to be.]
Link
http://www.link.com/
Generic link for example [csea, Oct 19 2010]
This is a news website article about a scientific paper
http://www.guardian...ntist/2010/sep/24/1
This article [supports|contradicts] everything you're saying [hippo, Oct 20 2010]
Fantasitc link to a real website which did the original idea better and 30 years ago
http://www.far.better.link.org
Dippy remark [Dub, Oct 20 2010]
Brex
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bre-X
[normzone, Oct 20 2010]
Generic annotations here
Reusable_20Annotations
[hippo, Oct 21 2010]
Sketch
http://www.jillkgre...om/images/blank.jpg
For [Dub] [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 22 2010]
How the HB REALLY Works... Maybe
http://www.flickr.c...086@N07/5105166406/
Just for [Dub] and a laugh [infidel, Oct 22 2010]
Broken Link for aomwthing which was awesome
http://127.0.0.1/Wow.Html
This is just incredible!!!!1! [Dub, Oct 26 2011]
Link to identical idea
Clever_20Idea_20Title
Just like this. [Twizz, Nov 24 2011]
An Internet Archive Link
http://web.archive....ive.org/web/web.php
An Internet Archive for the whole Internet Archive... Don't click unless you're prepared to fix the blackhole created [Dub, Jan 13 2013]
random incident recorded on the onion
https://www.youtube...watch?v=9U4Ha9HQvMo
[pashute, Apr 05 2014]
discussion ensued
https://www.youtube...nb0WTXuOkoq0bY1Kc26
[pashute, Apr 05 2014]
Title of the Song
https://www.youtube...watch?v=KBSq7SOTVJg
The musical version of this very post [smendler, Apr 06 2014]
Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer
http://youtu.be/WAG9Xn5bJwQ
[xaviergisz, Apr 20 2014]
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Destination URL.
E.g., https://www.coffee.com/
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
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Clever annotation making use of a pun or several. Discussion of Idea's merits, and possibly (for a poor idea) casting of aspersions on the author's parentage. |
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Ruminations on the possibility of dispensing piscatorial /paleontological or wheat-based foodstuffs. |
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Unitary [link] or several as appropriate. |
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briefly notes that we've done this before, but doesn't provide any evidence. |
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Recursion joke and/or obscure British popular culture
reference. Deliberate mispelling. |
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Equally deadpan response to the two comments above, pausing only to pointlessly snark about Wales. |
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Choleric umbrage over the fact that a very similar idea to this exact idea was posted by this baker 2 years prior and was roundly panned, yet this idea has garnered 3 (3!) buns simply because it is not so mean spirited. Grit-toothed grousing over the unfairness of bakers and the halfbakery. |
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suggests the idea should be MFD for contradictory reasons (e.g. baked and bad science). |
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Bone by house curmudgeon, followed by calls from other bakers to be less curmudgeonly. Direct challenge by house cheerleader to curmudgeon. Deletion of a random account by someone upset by the exchange. Random bakery crash. |
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Gratuitous mention of explosives, cats or dressing gowns, to attract the attention of [8th of7], thus guaranteeing the idea will now veer off-topic into reminiscences of how he accompanied Joseph Conrad up the Congo River, approximately 100 years ago.** |
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**Obscure cross-reference to [8/7]'s own Heart Of Darkness, it might seem. |
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Exalts cleverness of title while nonchalantly making tweaking suggestions disguised as humorous anecdotes meant to bring smile to post-er, but are really touching inside jokes refering to actual meat-space meeting. |
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<insertion of colon/space/right parenthesis> |
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annotation pointing out some very minor detail of the
post, but chalking it all up to be very important.
A demand for answers. Finally, an association between
the
current idea and a childhood traumatic event that most
likely won't lead to any further developments. |
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Thesauristically obfuscated sesquipedalian non-sequitur. |
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Pedantic mention of proper spelling and punctuation of //mispelling//
i,e, msiipelling. |
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Various markings for deletion, tagline, delectation, expiry, and assorted other consequences. |
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Excessively literal reaction, siting lack of details in
description and calling for detailed drawings while
backhandedly promoting one of my own ideas and
including a link to idea no one ever read. Rounding
with rewrite of original idea which dispels original
comedic aspects but results in build-able version that
no one is interested in. |
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Attempt at final word on subject, doomed to propagate endless annos. |
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Attempt at humourous clarification of original idea, mildly disparaging more practical version. Several irrelevant comments, included because the puns were irresistable. |
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A jabbing retort to a previous annotation that does not in
any way involve me. An attempt to cover my
own selfish human tendencies with further investigation
into an only slightly heretofore mentioned issue involving
the original idea. |
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Query about lack of custard in idea. |
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Utterly unrelated rant on subject mis-construed from earlier annotation. Generalised dig at Americans. May contain humour. |
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Makes note of anno by long absent 'baker and adds effusive salutation as if they were a long, lost relative (possibly one to whom I've lent money). Makes no comment about idea whatsoever. |
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suggests meeting up for beer. |
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Modified version of idea by [MisterQED] to with a slightly more practical alternative, including additional features. |
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Shrill cry that one of my annos has been deleted. |
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What (name of random halfbaker from annotations list above) said. This is [genius|a pile of crap]!!! - see link. <faux HTML tag> |
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sexual innuendo poorly disguised as relevant to the
idea. Angry response to a complete misunderstanding
of what [csea] said. |
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Attempt at witty response, which starts by making the observation that some fundamental view is in fact a fallacy, but which inevitably falls on deaf ears
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Adds some odd idea which seems to improve the original idea (at least as far as the poster is concerned) |
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Seemed like a sensible thing to do at the time.
[po] Here's a shovel, m'dear
[edit] Re-reading the post and annos much later (sometimes years) prompts to add a disclaimer or remove the anno altogether
[edit2, much later - assumes anno wasn't removed] adds a link tangentially to do with the post, just to stir things up a bit |
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offers [po] a heart
what' s left but a club or diamond... |
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[linky] Adds linky, and flags previous linky as content is completely different to what was available at time of orignal posting.
Previous link now appears to sell something called V1a6r9 |
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{Obtuse in-joke, which the one person who might understand, never gets to read. All others ignore. May include a reference to a long-since banned member and his collection of ferrets} |
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Witty deliberate misunderstanding of previous anno. |
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Purposefully delayed [marked-for-deletion] no idea just to
mess with the people who are having so much fun with the
annos and to see them quiver as the whole thing gets put
in front of a judge. |
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Sarcastic conveyance of lack of concern. |
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Reply to anno that no longer exists. |
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[infidel] has not deleted anno yet. |
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Gentle chiding towards previous poster. Points out that the reference was obviously to a different anno. Asks which part of "no longer exists" is hard for previous poster to understand. Salutations and enquiries after health due to length of time since last direct communication with previous poster. |
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jutta advises - go to email or some other place ... |
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hugs and kisses of long lost friends ... |
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Use of anno for purpose of social interaction with no acknowledgement of the idea's existence. |
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Insertion of <link> to obscure prior art. |
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Long-winded refutation of annotation intended to attract contributor's attention, including further <link> to tangentially relevant wikipedia article, ending with diatribe against cats and several thinly-veiled sideswipe against other annotators and social or racial groups, involving quotes from literature and a request for someone to "do the math". |
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anno entered too late to capitalize on puns, debunking of part of idea,(obviously not having read the last paragraph), and later... |
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Finds time to do pencil sketch of idea. Finds illustration to be lacking something and slightly skewed. |
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Link to interpretation of anno above. |
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On re-reading idea in hope of finding new target to attack, finally notices [mouseposture]'s obscure British popular culture reference. Posts cryptic non-sequitur punning annotation refering to same which only one other reader understands and which actually isn't even funny. |
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Finally remembers to dispense baked goods because flattered by [infidel]'s gratuitous mention of cats and explosives. |
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<Pleased that someone recognized obscure reference, but
does not post anno.> |
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<a reread of most the post just to soak it in before it's
left
for dead> |
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An emphatic statement to help elucidate the difference
between the intended play on words (post everything as
a
noun definition of what would be there otherwise) and
what lots of people are doing and I have already done on
error (post everything as a verb). A remark about the
shamefulness that should henceforth be instilled in any
guilty 'bakers! |
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Pithy attempt at creating a new tagline. |
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua! Ut enim ad minim veniam (quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat). Duis aute irure [dolor] in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat [mfd] nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. [+|-] |
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Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes. |
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//Pithy attempt at creating a new tagline// [marked- for- tagline] |
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Complaint abut decline of modern educational standards, in
re: Lorem ipsum. |
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<pseudo-html tag>Remark that might be funny if modified by some sort of meta-description.</pht> |
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Accusation of cultural elitism directed at [hippo], [infidel] and [mouseposture], phrased as an iambic pentameter, which is itself a deliberate misquote of an author from antiquity. |
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Riposte Googled from the Shakespearean Insult Generator. |
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A self-referential idea [gisho] posted,
Was with a 21 bun salute toasted,
The old sweats all turned out,
At least five left a trout,
Thank [jutta] the HB stays hosted. |
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Intellectual discourse
Runs to merry posturing
Relevance declines. |
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A bun is tentatively removed until poetry war reaches an armistice. |
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Points out that //Lorem ipsum// etc. is not actually Latin; it just looks like Latin. |
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Refers to himself in the third person. |
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Pedantically disagrees with [pertinax] but cannot find the link that explains how it is garbled from a genuine text. |
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Raises pet topic on the flimsiest of inferences,
goes on to construct an absurdly analogical straw
man using a series of leaping and contradictory
assertions, before toppling it with the most
nonchalant of rhetoric leanings and thence
asserting some generalised slice of cliché as if it
were undeniably the case. |
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<Spends another 5 minutes trying to remember
how to get the little flick to appear over the e in
cliché> |
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<Decides to point out ones own typographical
preciseness in a vain attempt to appear fastidious
and pedantic> |
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Belated and pointless attempt to get back on topic by pointing out that the idea is worthless because not universally applicable, cannot be manufactured using technology available in the Third World, and cannot be realised using open source methodologies. |
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Comparison of US American/UK spelling and word usage. Explanation of disparate meanings for similar phraseology. Acknowledgement of Australian viewpoint while maintaining that this poster is not in a position to comment meaningfully on such. Joke about irregular verbs. |
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Sullenly points out that so-called American spelling is a perfectly acceptable UK variant according to the OED. |
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<attempts to think up pun based on [egbert]'s annotation> |
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Out of frustration, posts well reasoned and useful comment on original idea, but then gets diverted into unjustified ad-hominem attack on previous three annotators out of spite and annoyance at inability to think up suitably clever pun and/or putdown. |
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<returns to 'recent' view in search of softer target to attack> |
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Blatant attempt to fan the flames of the spelling dispute by suggesting that the variant spelling applies, in fact, to an alternate version of the product that will be made available to our friends across the pond, as soon as the simplified manual with the primary-colored pictures is complete. |
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Someone PLEASE add a sketch or drawing to this post! |
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A bun is quietly returned to the tally, seeing as poetry has for the time being subsided. |
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Proposal that the thread be added to, or perhaps substituted
for, the HB help page. |
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Quietly wonders if he has started a micro-trend involving the word "quietly" |
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Lauds [mouseposture]'s suggestion whilst denying any involvement, directly or tangentially, in the Happy Cuddle Club. |
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Indignant complaint that "Attempt at final word on subject" was totally ineffective. |
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Not a bad first stab, [infidel] - I was thinking of the idea's official Illustration (i.e. permanently attached to the idea forever more), but not bad |
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I don't think there are enough pixels in the universe to completely describe this place. |
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I think you need apply to bakesperson to be an illustrator. nice flickr image. any more? ducks, pigeons? |
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So, based on your illustration, the only finishing points are
"sad", "latin", "jokes about wales", and "marked for
deletion" ... Hmm. Yeah, 'bout right. |
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The others just sit around, waiting to be churned, stuck in an endless loop like autistic zombie neurons. |
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Of those that meet a definite end, Latin and Wales spell a sort of "heat death" for an idea; MFD seems to leave them in suspended animation and sad seems best to sum up the remainder. |
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Effusive thanks to [2fries] for sketching it just as I imagined it! |
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Kudos to [infidel] for the illustration. Inquiry as to whether anyone knows a joke about Wales that happens to be in Latin, as that seems the only appropriate capper to a rapidly disintegrating anno stream. |
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A Russian custodis eram occumbo per parachute
obvius Welsh tumulosus per instructions ut
contactus a Mr. Jones quisnam ago in vegrandis
villa of Llanfair , quod tribuo him code nuntius "
tulips es vigeo puteus today.Arriving" procul villa is
asked lectulus puer qua Mr. Jones ago quod eram
directus ut lectulus tabernus procul terminus of
villa infligo in ianua quod erus emerged. " es vos
Mr. Jones? "" ego tulips es vigeo puteus hodie ".
Jones astrum procul him in exstasis tunc
smiled.Ah", vos must have adeo nefas domus. It's
Jones - - custodis vos volo " |
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Expression of disappointment that this post was not about some other idea as based on a pun related reading of the title. |
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asks why [gnome] is always late to the party! |
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Suggestion that this Idea be considered as a blueprint for a further (meta-) idea; perhaps:
Title Describing an Idea for Description of Clever Titles |
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Late commentary on swiss cheese due to prominant baker disappearance. |
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Praise for [infidel]'s sketch and attempt to draw [beany] back to the fold by giving him his own square. |
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{[Dub] forgot to thank [Infidel].}
Thanks [Infidel], |
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yay! 2 if you count on your thumbs. |
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yeah, like you don't know where Penzance is ... |
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when you think about it, this idea has a rather lame title. |
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Realization that the bakery is now one
random selection combination database away from
becoming fully autonomous with this idea.
Commentary on Turing tests, ELIZA, etc. |
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Pointless additional anno designed solely to churn. |
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...idea title will only be bold for a week... |
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//when you think about it, this idea has a rather lame...// |
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Advice against //think[ing] about it// too hard, which inevitably results in misunderstanding. |
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<posits "limited-slip mental traction device" /> |
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<waves back> feeling rather silly! |
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Personal anetcdote about something almost nothing like idea (will contain at least one misspelled word.). Brief explaination on my lack of baking as of late (may or may not be true). |
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//Excerpt from one of [8th of 7]'s annotations// |
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Sarcastic comment and or somber reference to combat |
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Unprovoked insult to [21quest] |
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Pedantically quotes //.).// |
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<looks up several obscure refferences>
<adds them to lexicon> |
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Derivative pun idea title creation and link.
2nd pun idea. MFD of both. |
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A thoroughly eloquent post, about something very interesting and informative, but as a response to a conversation being held on another (now deleted) thread. |
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Pedantic and closely reasoned criticism (with equations and references) of [2 fries] links, followed by non-funny science pun and/or reference to SciFi TV series from many years ago which baffles most readers. |
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Reminder of many instances of "Clever Idea-Title" as opposed to "Clever-Idea Title" assumption, alluded to in previous anno. |
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Enthusiastic acknowledgement of previously unknown web slang term. |
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[Linky] Just Brilliant!
Obtuse comment for a broken weblink |
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Demand for more explosives. |
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Half's astounding, Half is fleeting
[madness] takes his toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
I've got to bash a troll
I remember doing the Half Bake
Sipping those moments when
The bakedness would hit me and the void would be calling
Let's do the Half Bake again...
Let's do the half bake again!
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It's just a bun to the left
And then a bone to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Half Bake again!
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... can't be bothered anymore |
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Suggestion of title change to something wittier. |
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Notes that acronym of idea title is Clit. |
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actually there is a way of justifying the margins on this idea so that it uses 3 then 1 then 4 then 1 then 5 then 9 words per line perfectly describing pi, except we wonder what [gisho] would have said next |
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Suggestion that the original idea could be improved
with the use of nuclear technology in a run-away
configuration. |
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Effusive greetings to a halfbaker recently returned
after long absence. |
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//apologies to MaxwellBuchanan and Da Vinci's
Notebook. You are my inspiration// |
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I always say that if I can sow the seed which, one
day, will inspire someone to make a fool of
themselves with a half-assed idea, my life has not
been wasted. |
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Oh, and statement of [+] to indicate intention to
leave a bun. |
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Reminder that someone has said "[+]" yet failed to
bun. |
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What [halfbaker] said (about what [halfbaker] said). |
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Self-fulfilling speculation about how [Vernon] might have proposed the idea. |
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Heavily ironical reference to a distant relative of [MaxwellBuchanan], followed closely by a pointless, non-sequitur and unncessesarily hurtful irrelevant attack on [beanangel], motivated by a mixture of spite and boredom. |
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endeavour to outdo above anno in a diametrically opposed fashion. |
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Wager of [8th]'s favourite unspecified item that the
endeavour fails. |
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Mild pontification that unspecified pyrotechnical item doesn't actually work in that fashion; wait patiently for 21Q or Ao for backup. |
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Reference to an ill-starred Edwardian expedition to
an implausible destination which came a cropper for
precisely this reason. |
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Pedantically points out that mild form of pontification doesn't exist on the bakery. |
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Comment to the effect that this problem wouldn't
have arisen in England, where private gun ownership
is frowned upon; nor in any country where the
importation of bees is forbidden. |
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Annotatlon that unintentionally rehashes an earlier annotation, almost verbatim in fact, since poster has neglected to read the entire thread |
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Notice of long-lost user name leads to research of user name history on this forum, and statistical analysis of when user joined, what they did, and how long it's been since they posted here being annotated in this thread. |
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<placeholder for <placeholder>> |
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Pun added, only to find after more careful review that someone else has already used that pun, and did a better job of it as well. Pun deleted. |
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Inadvertent repeat observation caused by not reading previous annotations. |
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{Recalls another good friend, whose son ought to have been called Capability} |
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Annotatlon that unintentionally rehashes an earlier
annotation, almost verbatim in fact, since poster has
neglected to read the entire thread |
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Long alcohol-fueled semicoherent rant comparing this idea to a friend I knew years ago. Nostalgia and self-pity. |
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Unnecessarily tactless and gratuitously hurtful riposte to previous annotation, merely for the sake of a third-rate pun, and permanently alienating poster. |
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//with reference to its invention by someone French |
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Mais non, in the style of that famous French hair-stylist (and musician) Monsieur Syd Barrette inventing le hairclip wot he gave name to, avec. |
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Hey, this was my idea! (sort of) (13 years later) (thanks xaviergisz) |
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I once saw a group of Israeli soldiers on a field trip to the antiquities of Tel Azeqa (supposedly near the location described in David vs. Goliath's battle). |
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Their officer-turned-tour-guide stopped in front of the sign that read "Entrance" and said: Okay! Take notice of what we have here. This is a sign. Now follow me to our next stop. |
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