h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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(This would first require the abolishment of cig vending machines, which I rather agree with anyhow)...So someone wants to buy a pack of cigarettes. First, though, he has to sign a form--every time, mind you--that basically says he realizes the potential health problems/side effects of smoking, both
now and further down the road, and that he understands this risk and is choosing to take this risk, will not hold tobacco companies accountable, et c., et c. Hopefully, reading it (in gory details) would make a few people quit too....
One of many, many morbid names in this convention
http://www.national...ges/blackdeath1.jpg
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Perhaps the final line before the place for the signature should read something like "Yes I want to slowly poison myslelf while pissing off people around me with these stinky fumes" in size 72 point type. |
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The following form complies with the Paperwork Reduction Act of 1995. It requires approximately 36.2475 minutes to accomplish this form. After completing this form you should be aware of the potential risks of cigarette smoking, and the fact that WHEN YOU DIE, WE’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE. |
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I first thought after reading this, that perhaps a company approaching its centennial or some other momentous occasion would be socially responsible and send a signal to the world's smokers. You know, TOP tobacco could change its name to "TAPS"--and sponsor a commemorative edition with BUGLER, or maybe sponsor cobranding with a number of larger more staid companies like Ligget and Brown. In this way the smoking/death connection would be more pronounced.
However, a little background check into the temper of the world in this regard yielded to my satisfaction that the world would not be at all put off by this connotation (see "Black death" link) and that such a strong connection would probably give the mourners of Joe C**el (no disclaimer) a reason to go on fighting for his memory. |
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Peter, the activities you mentioned carry an inherent risk, but are not inherently lethal. What's more, they are examples of putting oneself at risk, and not everyone within 30+ feet. |
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Smoking, unfortunately, does not color within the lines and kills indiscriminately...it's not a matter of "if" but "when" one will feel its effects. |
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the real issue at stake here, of course, is not whether everyone knows that smoking kills. they all know this. the fact is that most of them don't CARE. |
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So would you sign a waiver every time you drive thru McDonalds? "Yes, I know that if I eat here 3 times a day it will take 10 years off my life and I will be the size of my car." ________please sign here. |
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would you start doing this for every potential health & safety risk you come across, "I am fully aware that my surgeon may have a bad day at the office and remove my healthy tescticles by accident", "I fully recognise that living in a built up urban area increases my chance of being mugged therefore its my own fault' come on. |
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I'd just love to sign a waiver form every time I eat, drink, smoke, watch TV, get in a car (much more dangerous to innocent bystanders than smoke, BTW), have sex, think indecent thoughts, turn on my computer, answer my phone, pay for anything in cash, handle a piece of paper, open a bag of pretzels, get on a plane, step into the shower, handle a knife... |
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