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Church Votive Pinball

Get more bang for your buck when you light those little electric candles.
  (+7)
(+7)
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I am not a religious person. But whenever I'm in a church, I can't help but notice those ubiquitous boxes of little fake candles that always seem to pop up in places of Christian worship. You drop a quarter into the slot, and a little candle lights up as an offering, so you can pray.

Prayers, blah. If I'm going to give the church my hard-earned coin, I'd better get more than that. In today's entertainment-craving culture, watching candles light up isn't enough to grab people anymore. Why not add a pinball machine to the votive display? Now putting in more money gets you more prayers *and* more rounds of pinball! High scorers get more prayers. Best scorer gets absolved! Anyone who scores more than a million points with one ball is immediately canonized as a saint. This would generate extra donations for the church.

As a second option, the coins could activate a mechanical Jesus that tells your fortune.

DrWorm, Nov 10 2009

The pray-o-mat http://www.technove...ntent.asp?Bnum=1378
Prior art by Roger Zelazny [normzone, Nov 10 2009]


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Annotation:







       Interesting [+]
kaz, Nov 10 2009
  

       I love the circus/religion idea. This is a very rich vein.
WcW, Nov 10 2009
  

       I'm rather good at pinball, and I'm an atheist.   

       I like the idea of someone like me being canonized.   

       Well done [+]
jtp, Nov 10 2009
  

       // the circus/religion idea// tautology.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 10 2009
  

       I'm so glad you were here to tell us that 21Q. Please don't hesitate to share your rustic musings in the future.
WcW, Nov 10 2009
  

       I don't really like pinball but I think this is a great idea. [+] Also, more progressive churches could have video games installed - Grand Theft Auto, or Modern Combat might be cool. You could have a screen and controller installed in every pew space for full-on mass networked gaming instead of dull sermons. -Really- progressive churches might host paintball tournaments (dodging behind tombs, running from gothic pillar to medieval rood-screen...), or mud wrestling bouts, to bring in the faithful and their coin, and to see which of them the God(s) really favour.
pocmloc, Nov 10 2009
  

       TILT
TILT
TILT
  

       Prayer is a form of meditation, and meditation is a form of concentrated self-reflection with a focus on intention. I don't think it would work so well on a pinball machine, unless it was suitably laid out.   

       This is where it gets tricky.   

       The usual 3-balls Pinball is evidently against doctrine, we have but one mortal and earthly existence.   

       Passage of the ball through the flippers of Hell would result in GAME OVER.   

       Various combinational plays would be observed:
Trinity Play - hitting the Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost would open this feature wherein you are also directed to collect Faith, Hope and Charity (sub game opened at this point where you have to gamble on which of these which is the greater - they each flash in turn at increasing speed, you have to hit the button at exactly the right moment).
Penance - rollover any of the venal sins and you have to get your ball into the Rosary - a wire-loop-trap that cancels them out. To cancel a mortal sin you have to hit the Contritio, Confessio and Satisfactio loops in sequence.
Stations of The Cross - another sequential play that give you plus points.
  

       REVELATIONS! - this is a multiball mode where everything goes mental - fire, brimstone, animals raining from the sky, speaking in tongues, waters rising up etc.   

       The best high-score ever should be displayed in a neon tickertape that progresses continuously around the outside of the Church, shaming the parish into beating their own personal bests. It's a shame Pinball wasn't invented in the middle ages, it would be cool to see a highscore (written out in Gothic Font) still surviving from the 15th Century.   

       At the end of the game, your good works are weighted against your unforgiven sins - a plus score is good, and a minus score is not so good.   

       Since the participant would be concentrating on the game so much, they wouldn't be able to escape some form of meditative (albeit a representational meditation at best) effect.
zen_tom, Nov 11 2009
  

       (Suprisingly?) I am with [21Q] on this one.
vincevincevince, Nov 11 2009
  

       'Revelation' is singular, [zt].
RayfordSteele, Nov 11 2009
  


 

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