h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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"Spare some change Guvna'?"
"I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any
change on me."
"That's alright mate, I take plastic."
"I'm sorry?"
"Credit, Debit, Switch, Maestro, VISA, all
of 'em. Except American Express. Greedy
corporate bastards."
"Wow, really? That's... that's quite
upmarket
isn't it? Usually you've just got
a polystyrene cup or a hat with a dog in
it."
"Upmarket? Nah mate, not with this new
'Chip and Beggar PIN' scheme the local
cahncil have introduced. It's simple
economics really, batteries included
mind."
"Fascinating... Do you mind if I take a
seat?"
"Of course mate, the pavement's a little
damp but ya soon get used to it. It's a
home and a carsie, see?"
"I... see... Well, do go on."
"So the cahncil dish out these portable
Chip and PIN gizmos to us on the street,
and for every transaction we make, 20%
goes to the cahncil to run the local soup
kitchens and to help us into
accomodation and off the streets like.
Course, I get less money for me crack
habit, but I 'spose that's a bonus an' all."
"Well I never. I suppose I'm all out of
excuses then, unless I want to embark
upon a raging tirade of social
commentary-fuelled abuse, wherein I am
the upstanding citizen that goes to work
and pays his taxes, and you're the
sponging idle layabout who should have
paid attention in school and not snuck
off to the bike sheds to smoke a 'dooby'
and 'jack-up'. You've won me over old
chap. So, how's 20p to get a cup of tea?"
"Sorry, you have to spend five pound
minimum Guv."
What they really need...
Cleaning_20the_20homeless
...is a place to take a shower and get ready for that job interview. [James Newton, Feb 09 2007]
[link]
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"Spare some change Guvna'?"
"Get a job, lazy sod." |
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You wouldn't say that, would you? Reminds me of a Monty Python song (sort of)... |
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<mp>
Never be rude to a pauper,
A bag lady, or Lazzaroni, or bum.
Never be rude to a vagabond,
Just smile, and turn, and run. |
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Never poke fun at a beggar,
A tramp, or a stiff, or a dreg.
And never poke fun at...
<KABOOM> |
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//You wouldn't say that, would you?/
Yes. Have done. |
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Quietly to yourself [angel] or quite confrontationally? |
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My approach to the homeless generally manifests itself in one of two ways; laughing at the nutcases and drunks, or sitting down for a chat with the seemingly decent but down trodden have-nots. |
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Neither to myself nor confrontationally; shall we say - matter-of-factly, as I may tell the time of day to one who asks. |
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Do the three of you know each other outside of this world? Cause I have no idea, nor do I want to, know...I mean. About |
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What were we talking about? |
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Indeed [Frank], you're not wrong. See, I felt the need to provide some half-baked scheme as to how one might be able to viably provide beggars with these devices, when I actually just thought the idea of just one beggar with a POS would be funny. |
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I say give one beggar a POS and let him lose in Highgate Village*, as you hide behind the bushes, peering through the leaves to watch the general toffery be put in awkward social situations. Ha ha! That'll learn 'em! |
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SMS idea ain't bad by the way. |
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* Well to do area of North London. Also would work in Chelsea, Notting Hill, and most of the West. |
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//a rejection of making an effort// |
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Never underestimate the power of a broken heart. |
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Are you saying the majority of homeless people are ex-IT consultants? |
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That's quite Python-esque. |
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"Pining for the source!?"
"Ahh, yeah. The Norwegian DBA spends a lot of time on 'is back looking for source-code. Remarkable skillset. Lovely suit!"
"Look, I took the liberty of examining that DBA when I employed 'im, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting at 'is desk in the first place was that 'ed had been NAILED there!"
etc... |
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