h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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This is almost certainly the best chicken-based idea I
have ever seen on this site. |
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This is certainly the best chicken-based idea I have seen on this page. |
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This advanced chicken technology is reminiscent of
old lawn-mowing technology, which involved very
skilled gentlemen with scythes. The height of the
cut was set by having them wear built-up shoes. |
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As everybody knows, if you draw a straight line, a chicken will follow it, head down. Could we draw several lines in parallel, or would that be crossing the line? |
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Your lawn must look atrociously unmown if you think 1" is short enough. |
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You're right, 1'' is too much. It could be made adjustable
easily. Simply cut a thread to the beak and screw a 1'' pipe
with a nut glued inside :) Adjustable by turning
clockwise/ccw. |
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yeah but the chickens are eating bugs as well. So, a vacuum or blower arrangement to bring the bugs up to where they can be beaked. |
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I'm not boning because of cruelty to animals, ""ha ha! let's
torture things!" |
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I'm boning because it wouldn't work. Chickens destroy lawns
because they're digging for food. There's no chicken food an
inch (much too short, you'll kill your grass) above the
ground. |
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But the chickens don't know that. |
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You could always use ostriches. They graze (given
the chance), but they have what amounts to a "lip"
on their beak which is about an inch long, so they
would naturally crop the grass to about that length. |
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Whilst I love the title, a chicken lawn mower would seem to be
something more mechanical. Maybe a bunch of chickens belted
onto a skateboard that could be pushed around the lawn when
you weren't skateboarding? Otherwise, this idea should be
*Chicken Mowed Lawn*. bun pending |
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Incidentally, two of the major manufacturers of
industrial lawnmowers (as used on football pitches,
for instance) test their machines by throwing [dead]
chickens into the blades. |
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I know what you're going to say - that I'm thinking of
jet engines. But that would be ridiculous; designing
a lawnmower to survive having a jet engine thrown
into it would be overkill. |
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What about jet-powered lawnmowers? I suppose we should really call them gas turbine mowers. |
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I think the problem there would be that, depending
on the orientation of the cutting blades, the machine
would either suck itself onto your lawn with several
thousand pounds of force, or reach 30,000 feet. |
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Wouldn't you just have to "declaw" them so that they couldn't scratch? |
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