h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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Supplant the conning towers of some submarines with large
brightly
coloured chicken heads, that completely cover the existing
structures.
These submarines would then cruise along just below
the
surface, with only the chicken heads fully exposed. At night, the
heads would be brightly illuminated.
Powerful speakers would supplement the spectacle of these nautical chickens by broadcasting a suitable range of loud clucking and crowing sounds, that would travel many miles across the sea surface.
This mad demonstration would take place instead of a show of force in
international waters, but within easy surveillance range of any
hostile state.
"How would you like your eggs - scrambled or
fried?"
Chicken Head Submarine
https://sodabred.tu...onning-towers-its-a
illustration [xenzag, Apr 14 2018]
[link]
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In case of trouble, could they Duck ... ? |
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Submarines rely on stealth - a commander would find such a visible feature eggsasperating ... |
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No problem; decoy chicken buoys. |
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It's highly unlikely that the Loch Ness Monster is a meerkat. |
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See last link....illustration on tumblr |
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// secretly populate the loch with occasional submarines // |
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There are some flaws in that suggestion. |
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1. If the submarines are truly secret, no-one will see them - thus no public interest will be engendered. |
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2. A submarine that is not a full-time submarine is not merely ineffective, but actually dangerous (i.e. the CSS Hunley). Submarines need to have all the essential attributes of a submarine all the time they are in water, otherwise they are more accurately described as "coffins". |
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Having said that, if you wish to amuse yourself by motoring round Loch Ness in a mini-submarine with a live cat ty-wrapped to the periscope, we will be delighted to provide all necessary equipment and pay your travelling expenses. |
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I imagine it's not the submarines that are secret, but the process
of populating the loch with them. Hence the use of the adverbial
form "secretly". |
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