h a l f b a k e r yAlmost as great as sliced bread.
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Celery is very good at absorbing water up through its capillaries. It absorbs water until the osmotic pressure is balanced.
So, dry out some celery, put some cocaine in some water, and let the celery soak overnight. The next day you have a celery stick full of coke water. Do this a few thousand times
over, and you have a vegetable shipment worth every penny!
Upon arrival, the celery is ground, dried, and filtered, leaving behind a valuable yield of smuggled drug.
coke jeans
http://thestar.com..../4634302&sec=nation
story about the drugged jeans [metarinka, May 18 2011]
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Annotation:
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Not grinded. The word is *ground*.
Have you tried this? Does celery still do osmosis once you dry it out? Do you really have to grind it, or can you put a stick of celery up your nose? |
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But how do you smuggle the celery in? |
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Doh! *edit*. Thanks, [ldishler]. |
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Wow, there's obviously a lot of ground I haven't covered yet. Is celery even legal??? |
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//But how do you smuggle the celery in?// |
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Well, if you're a young woman, you could say that it's lunch (because most people just go with the stereotype), but I suppose shoving it up where the sun don't shine has it's advantages. |
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would you mind warming that celery... |
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// but I suppose shoving it up where the sun don't shine has it's advantages.//
That reminds me of an old chant on the school bus!. |
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It also reminds me of an old man on the school bus. |
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By first drying the celery in rock salt, one would increase its affinity for drug solution. As well as impart a delicious flavor. |
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Break one celery stick, and the dog will sniff you out & you get busted. |
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How would this be advantageous to simple bags of water/solution? |
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If you are going to mix cocaine with liquid, why not cola? |
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Celery will get you high by itself. Chew it up into a mush
and hold it in your mouth covering as much of your tongue
as possible. Now wait for yourself to feel bad about
something. You will feel your tongue start to suck stuff
out of the celery mush in response to the bad feelings in
your gut or where ever the bad feelings are manifested.
This is the way animals are supposed to operate, mouths
full of chewed up vegetables, tongue sucking emotional
balance out of the mush, and other senses aiming the way
to the new vegetables that will better balance the
emotions. |
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You're an odd one, [Jesus]. |
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We once thought of a way of smuggling
coke into the Netherlands (my hunting
grounds) at New Year's eve. This might
require some background info to
explain. Here, on New Year's eve,
there's a traditional sweet snack served,
called
"oliebollen", literally translated as "oil
balls" . These are balls of sweet dough
with or without rainins, deep-fried in
oil, served
with a royal amount of powdered sugar
on top. Now, one could easily replace
the powdered sugar with coke when you
smuggle it across. Customs officers will
just see a big plate full of sugared
oliebollen. Of course, the main
drawback is that sniffing your line from
a greasy ball really doesn't look that
cool on your New Year's Eve-party. |
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someone should try to cross breed the cocaine plant with fruits or veggies.... |
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And of course these highly trained
customs officers wouldn't be at all
suspicious that someone was trying to
smuggle a food only made and eaten in
the Netherlands INTO the Netherlands... |
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perhaps he means OUT of the Netherlands. |
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what do people hunt there? |
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Not what but who, Windy Miller. |
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A more beneficial application of the celery osmosis would be to infuse it with fruit juice so kids will like to eat it. |
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that won't work either phundug. Its the strings the kids hate. |
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You could just give them fruit... |
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Infused with cocaine, no doubt. |
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Well, why not ? It's "green", it can be grown organically, and it's good for you - at least, it feels that way at the time. |
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sort of baked, drug smugglers put the drugs in
cocaine soaked blue jeans. Never heard of them
trying to put it in innocuous foods though. |
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Who ever said celery was innocuous? |
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William Somerville Orr said it. |
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dogs or no dogs, i think this would fool a few
border
guards. who weren't creative enough to see
cellery
as a concealment vessel. |
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....Come to think of it, wouldn't injecting a drug
in
liquid form into celery blend its smell with that of
the celery? I imagine it would no longer be two
separate smells, but one totally new odour. The
dogs probably wouldn't regard it as cocaine
at all! |
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This has been done with lime shipments as well. |
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And too big to smuggle in celery. |
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[big] Limes are generally smuggled in coconuts. There's even a song about it. |
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[meta] Why not smuggle drugs in regular blue jeans? I'd think smuggling them in cocane soaked blue jeans would be easier to detect. |
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Hah, [world], I wanted to send that snarky remark to meta a while back but I refrained. I was still vying for his vote, perhaps. |
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