h a l f b a k e r yTrying to contain nuts.
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This is a trap designed to keep two pests at the edge of your property: cats and mosquitoes. First, using normal bait to lure the trespassing cat into it, the trap ensnares the kitty's head with a cone-shaped clamp around the neck (cat lovers, this is for the kitty's own protection and is only temporary.
Think
of one of those cones that vets put on them to prevent scratching).
Once the cat is so ensnared, the body is sprayed with depilatory foam. The foam is left on for 5 minutes to do its work, then high-pressure water nozzles spray the loosened hair off the body (think of it like a kitty car-wash). Results may be patchy... this is acceptable for the intended purpose.
The clamp is released and a heat lamp underneath the kitty is activated. Between the cat's shaking inside the cage, newfound (partial) hairlessness and lamp's heat, the cat will quickly dry.
The whole contraption is transported to the edge of the yard on a rail, where the cat is offered up to the mosquitoes as a living decoy to keep them away from the house. After 3-5 days (during which the kitty is fed and watered, because a dehydrated cat is not a sweating cat, and a non-sweating cat is not an attractive cat to mosquitoes) when the cat starts to regrow its hair, the trap opens, releases the cat, and resets itself for the next cat to come along and be stupid enough to trespass on my lawn.
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You've obviously never tried to lure a cat into a trap. It's much harder than squirrels. |
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Ah, that explains your confusion. If you have to try, you simply haven't built a good enough trap. |
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Bad idea. In addition to being cruel (and therefore
[marked-for-deletion]), it makes no sense.
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To minimize the mosquito threat to you in your yard,
you suggest *feeding* the mosquitos? Even if this were
to temporarily distract the mosquitos (doubtful), as
soon as you happen to run out of unlucky cats, you'll
have a bigger-than-ever swarm of mosquitos waiting
for you. |
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And they will be maniacal mosquitos too. Cat blood has
that effect -- just look what it's done to [8th of 7]. |
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//as soon as you happen to run out of unlucky cats//
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Not likely... they breed worse than rabbits, and in case you didn't notice this is a catch and release system. So I'll get the same cats over and over. On the off chance I do run out, then I'll just have to break out the Mosquito Depilation Pack. |
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Don't think of it as being cruel to cats... think of it as being friendly to Mosquitoes. The EPA would approve. |
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We will buy your entire prodduction. When can we expect the
first shipments? |
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Don't fall for it, Borgy. This is clearly a ploy to curry favor
with the collective, no doubt in preparation for some
upcoming scheme. |
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I can have them delivered in 5-7 days via UPS (ground, free of
charge), 2-3 days via FedEx (air/ground, costs 9.99), or overnight
via C-130 Custardship (airlifted right to your backyard, fully
palletized, costs 199.99 and you must authorize your digital
signature on an accuracy waiver). |
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