h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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I have taken many road trips where there was just not a rest area close enough when you needed one. Blame it on the bouncing around plus the iced tea you had for lunch - whatever. And sometimes when you do find a rest area/fast food joint to relieve yourself, they are filthy! I know they make those
portable plastic containers you can pee into, but where is the room to do this if you're in the front seat in broad daylight? Here's my idea - if you really have to go, you flip your seat up, revealing a plastic toilet container underneath. You can go into this container, and remain seated like nothing is going on and no one is the wiser - when done, close 'er up, and flip your regular cushy seat back down. Upon reaching your journey, you can dispose of the seat or flush and wash out. Now odor may be a problem unless you are alone, but when the container is closed you should be OK on the stink factor. Also helps to wear loose clothes and maybe throw a jacket across your lap for those peeping motorists....
Depend
http://www.depend.com/index.asp
Crap your pants, then throw them away when you get there. [horripilation, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Bumper Dumper
http://www.bumperdumper.com/bumper2.htm
A toilet seat for your car. [oneoffdave, Oct 08 2004]
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Annotation:
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Remind me never to eat in your car. |
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It's easy to go while driving if you're of the gender with the equipment to do so. You just scootch forward just enough in seat to give some bottle room, manipulate the plumbing to direct as needed into the container, and you're home free. I'll shut up now... |
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How do //you flip your seat up// when sitting on it to drive? |
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My mad Dad bought a 4x4 roadhog about 15 years ago (he still has it, and drove about 8,000 miles in it until his sight started going last year) and decided to create living space in the back, including porta-kitchen (with fridge and cooker) and porta-potty, all carefully boxed. Like all good bakers, he never finished. |
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I managed to fill a beer can while sitting in a kayak without capsizing or forgetting to pour it out. |
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You've either got great aim or a very long schlong FJ. I'm guessing it's the latter, because if it was the former you would be using some sort of "arcing" techique, in which case you may as well have just arced straight into the water. Anyway... |
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I was traveling with a male friend one time and we were laughing through tears while trying to figure out a solution to all the p stops for guys. It can be a pain to try to time those pit stops so that one doesn't have to suffer while waiting for the other to need to go.
We thought of a rubber hose and a whole in the floor. The problem with that was that other motorist could tell what you were doing and it would be hard to keep a straight face while riding along beside a suspicious looking motorist. |
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We finally decided on a hot water bottle with a long rubber neck, but after hours on the road we never went further than laughing at the possibility that someone might actually do that. |
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The crapper thing would have a whole new dimension of problems.Disposal chores would be very unpleasant. You might want to add a super high powered incinerator, which could be useful for disposing of other unwanted things, like drug or alcohol items during a traffic stop. Oops getting off subject. |
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Sorry Minnow, I’d have no use for the road crapper. Maybe if I could set it beside the road and assemle a curtain rod around it, it would be better than the "depend" plan. |
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A roll of asswipe (pronounced "a-swee-pay") and a random log in the bush always seems to work for me. |
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Helps if you're around trees. Cacti aren't recommended. |
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there has been many a morning where i must wake myself early and drive myself through peak hour traffic for 40 minutes and on many occasions i find that only making one trip to the toilet before leaving is not enough. i have to sit squirming until i reach my destination where often the public toilets on offer are not particularly clean. some may argue that i should get up fifteen minutes earlier so that i can indeed poo twice but i figure that the poo is on a timeline and would only make its way down at the same time every morning at 8.40 when i am already on my way. it was on one of these trips that i figured there must be a solution. so i searched it online and found this artice. it would be a brilliant invention but the only obstacle that must be overcome is how the waste would be disposed of. i have run my idea by a few. some dare not to dream of my perfect world but most seem in favour of the idea. my sister also recomended that metropolitan trains also include a similar device due to similar inconveniences. if this idea gets off the ground there will be lots of money to be made. |
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I would love to support you but until you learn to use paragraph breaks I'll have to wait. |
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I wonder how you would discreetly wipe yourself. |
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//I wonder how you would discreetly wipe yourself.//
Run a hose from the windscreen washer pump to make a bidet... |
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