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Captain Mayonnaise

 (Guess I have to get in on the recent superhero action)
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SuperPowers: squirts mayonnaise from his wrists; can communicate with mayonnaise; has intricate knowledge of the mayonnaise manufacturing process; knows the health factors associated with mayonnaise consumption; etc etc
—globaltourniquet, May 23 2001

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       I like Captain Custard's trusty sidekick, Dilatant Dog.
—globaltourniquet, May 23 2001
   

       When you say "can communicate with mayonnaise" does that mean that he can speak to mayonnaise and understand what the mayo is saying when it responds, or do you mean that he communicates *using* mayonnaise (by writing or drawing pictures with it, for instance)?
—PotatoStew, May 23 2001
   

       Hey, that would be a garden path sentence if it were possible to do either. But I think Captain Mayonnaise regularly does both:   

       "It's a message."
"From whom?"
"Wait!" He sticks his finger in a capital M and licks it. "It's from Captain Mayonnaise!"
"Read it!"
"It says, 'My mayonnaise jar told me you two are in trouble!'"
—globaltourniquet, May 23 2001
   

       "...and Alioli Girl!!"
—hippo, May 25 2001
   

       [hippo]: I used to date her.
—angel, May 26 2001
   

       Comme les Batman and Robin... could we have Captain Mayonnaise and Lieutenant Salad Cream? (This may not mean much to those outside the UK; Salad Cream is like mayo but a bit more yellow, a cheap alternative that still tastes passable on chips (fries), and obviously salad.)
—lewisgirl, May 26 2001
   

       [angel]: Tell us more.
—hippo, Jun 04 2001
   

       [hippo]: Not much to tell; the breath thing became an issue.
—angel, Jun 04 2001
   

       [angel]: Ah. My wife complains about garlic too. (Her, shying away from kissing me): "Did you have garlic for lunch?". (Me): "Well, there were some whole roast garlic cloves in the salad I had..."
—hippo, Jun 08 2001
   

       [lewisgirl]: The Yank version is Miracle Whip. As in: "If you think it can whip mayonnaise...it's a miracle."
—The Military, Jun 10 2001
   


 

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