h a l f b a k e r ynon-lame halfbakery tagline
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In The beginning, there was CSI. Then there was CSI: Miami. Then there was CSI: New York as well. Pretty soon, even the most remote, miserable, desolate location will have its own CSI franchise.
The next logical step is obviously CSI:Dadaab, set in North-Eastern Kenya. Obviously the budget will be
a trifle less generous than the originals, but should none the less be able to keep the audience glued to their seats.
The gadgets and gimmicks may be rather less sophisticated; marvel at the stunning Kerosene Lamp, which allows the CSI team to work after sunset; the empty corn sack in which they can collect evidence; the sophisticated "stick" used for poking around in the dust and dirt; the all-metal high-tech "scissors", capable of cutting through up to one layer of clothing; and most of all, the amazing "shoes", which allow them to walk considerable distances without getting their feet cut to ribbons.
"What we got here, Doc ?"
"It's a tough one, and I haven't had the tox screen back yet, but based on the physical evidence - ten years old, mass a little under fifteen kilos, paper-thin skin, no musculature to speak of ... well, I'm going to go with my instinct, and call this one as starvation and malnutrition."
"Doc, you know what you're saying ? This one is eerily similar to the one we had earlier today, and the 23,486 before that. I'm afraid I'm starting to see a pattern ..."
Imaginary Army Cost Counter
http://www.calytrix.../news/newsitem/225/
Count what you're not spending [AusCan531, Aug 22 2011]
Does Assimilation count as marriage.
http://www.ncsl.org...lt.aspx?tabid=16430
[mouseposture, Aug 22 2011]
[link]
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// The next logical step is obviously CSI:Dadaab // |
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Disagreed. Considering that CSI: Original Flavor (and so
many others like it) came in on the coat-tails of Law &
Order, I'd say the next logical step is the UK. CSI:
Glastonbury, maybe? |
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David Caruso, donning sunglasses: "This was no accident;
this motorcyclist was murdered! But how?" |
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Supporting cast member, holding tri-corder: "Tachyon
readings indicate a recent temporal pulse. Do you think it
was--" |
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David Caruso, removing sunglasses: "--a teleporting deer." |
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Come on [Alterother]; if you have this bio-teleportation technology on your doorstep, when are we going to see your half-baked device for harnessing it? |
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Damn. Thought this was CSI Dada. |
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// if you have this bio-teleportation technology on your
doorstep, when are we going to see your half-baked device
for harnessing it? // |
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I'm working on it, but the deer are being stubborn in giving
up the secrets. I may have to put the project on hold until
winter; they're always a little more agreeable after
hunting season is over. |
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Translation: "The only person in our tribe who understands fire and the use of edged tools is ill. We are all busy praying for their speedy recovery before Winter comes". |
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That's it, Borg, I'm taking you off of the 'offer to trade' list
and moving you 'raid and pillage.' Watch for our longboats
in Liverpool four to six weeks from now! |
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[8th of 7] Have you ever read/heard/seen any of the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency? Almost exactly as you suggest, only placed in Gaborone, Botswana. |
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// Longboats are going to have a hard time docking with a
Borg cube... // |
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[21], this is actually a clever ruse. The Borg will rightly
assume that the comment about Liverpool was deliberate
misdirection, and thus will focus their attention on Slapton
Sands instead. While they stare out to sea,
waiting for our square sails to appear on the horizon, my
13th Heathen Raider Battalion will be stealthily deploying
inside their perimeter via HALO jump... |
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Slapton Sands would be the obvious target, of course. Having made one disastrous practice landing there, US doctrine required that the exercise is repeated several times to "iron out the bugs". |
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As Dwight Eisenhower said, "The American Army always arrives at the correct solution, having tried all the others first." |
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The 13th is not affiliated with the US Armed Forces.
They're an independent and largely imaginary paramilitary
force probably best described as 'Viking commandos'. |
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// not affiliated with the US Armed Forces // |
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So, they might be a serious threat after all ... |
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OK ... part Boer, part Norwegian. |
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Strengths: Good horsemen, skilled sailors, tough, determined. |
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Weaknesses: Gloomy joyless protestant culture, obsession with fish, heavy drinkers, could be either short, stocky and dark, or very tall and blond, and almost certainly an unlovely combination of short arms and deep pockets. |
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Threat level: Undetermined. |
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We're also working on an imaginary Heathen Armored
Division, but we're having imaginary budget problems. It
turns out that even fictitious tanks are very expensive to
own and operate. |
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[The Alterother] is of Swedish heritage, thank you very
much. He also has some Orangeman Irish blood, thrown in
just to make things really interesting. |
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We hear that Bernard Madoff's got some time on his hands right now .... |
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Here you go [Alterother]. The link I just posted will help
you with all your imaginary invasion budgetary needs.
Good company,
good products. Watch those virtual bullets. |
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Uhhhh, you can use it too [8th]. I wouldn't want to pick
sides here. I'm happy to supply advice and materiel to
both sides in any conflict. At least until the outcome is
clear. |
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[Aus] you are a Ferengi, and we claim our five bars of Gold-Pressed Latinum. |
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No one is pressing my Latinum unless we're married. A boy
has standards. |
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Does Assimilation count ? |
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Sure, why not. When I was talking about standards i
thought we were still playing Alterother's "imaginary things
we have game." I must warn you I've never hegemonised
before. |
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Yeah, right, we bet you say that to all the girls ... |
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Saaayyy, if you can set up something which includes that 7th of 9 I'm all yours. |
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[AusCan531] will be shot as a collaborater. |
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First a marriage proposal later followed by death threats. Some things never change. sighhh |
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I just tried and found that Dadaab is quite a catchy
riff. |
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