CD Detonator

As you make your final selection of files in your authoring program, you grin. You are about to test your latest gadget: the CD detonator. You click the "Detonate" button, and the countdown begins.

The software begins transferring your files to the detonator's internal RAM. No two meg buffer here; the detonator houses a full discs worth of memory. At the same time, you notice a peculiar high pitched whining. At first you think it to be the disc spinning up, but the detonator has no spindle motor.

As the hard drive chatters away, trying to keep up with the detonator's amazing serial ATA transfer rates, the whining grows louder. It sounds almost electrical, similar to the flash circuits of some cameras. Indeed, the detonator is charging a large bank of supercapacitors, storing up some 190 million joules of energy.

As the countdown approaches its final moments, the detonator lowers a thick copper plate onto your CDR. It is needed to prevent it from bursting into flames. The countdown finishes, pausing for a few ominous milliseconds as it checks the parity of its memory and the energy levels of its capacitors.

Finally, the detonator releases an enormous CRACK as the capacitors dump all of their energy into the detonator's six billion microscopic lasers, burning every pit simultaneously in a fraction of a second.

The copper plate conducts the waste heat energy of the lasers, and is lifted from the disc shortly before ejection. A few seconds later, the copper plate is also ejected, preventing excess heat buildup inside your computer by radiating its energy outside the case. You pick it up and set your croissant on it to warm it up.

The detonator retains its memory for a possible duplicate detonation, and coolly reminds you to replace the copper plate before the next detonation.