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Butt John

 Flush yer butts!
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A small basin set upon a narrow pedestal which is filled with water. This 'Butt john' is situated near the barbecue or pool, or other area where people may congregate socially. When those who do smoke break out their habit, they can walk over to the Butt John when they wish to extinguish their lift and drop the stoggie into the water basin. This extinguishes the cigarette and with the flip of a lever you can flush it away down into the sewer pipes, thus not providing the host of the party a very good excuse for not wanting to invite you the next time. (Cleaning up oodles of butts while not feeling so great is not high on the list of life's little pleasures.)
For those of you who suggest putting out an ash tray, I suggest trying this and maybe do a count of # in ashtray vs # in yard. I fully believe that the novelty of the Butt John would tip the ratio of misplaced butts to an agreeable number!
—Zimmy, Oct 28 2003

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       If smokers are so inconsiderate as to littering the yard of their gracious host instead of putting the butts in the ash tray, why would they go to the trouble of putting them in this fun little gizmo?   

       Could be good as a novelty.
—half, Oct 28 2003
   

       I must confess. I do smoke & while at parties I, if I properly recollect, put butts into an expired can which is put into the trash. I see more often than not people just flinging them where ever.
Behind my house there is what I believe is a clean out which kind of inspired this concept as I am prone to throwing away ashtrays in fits of belief that I can do the cold turkey thing. Currently I must scoop up all the butts from a makeshift ashtray every other day and put them in the garbage. I occasionally wonder about building the Butt John and hooking it into a sprinkler system to avoid the ashtray problem. I also feel that non-smokers are quite annoyed by seeing ashtrays in their current state of existence.
—Zimmy, Oct 28 2003
   

       Surely, there must be an opportunity here to combine [bristolz]' Butt Flicking Clay idea with [Zimmy]'s Butt John.   

       Why not make the entire idea into a lawn game similar to horseshoes or lawn darts? To do this, issue all your smoking guests a packet of Bristolz' patented butt flicking clay strips when they arrive at your party. Show them the two special brass spitoons half-filled with water placed in the center of 3 footwide by 3 foot long by 4 inch deep sandboxes that you have positioned at opposite ends of the garden. Tell them there will be a tournament later in the evening to determine who is the best butt flicker, and they should start practicing. Two points for a swoosh directly into the spitoon; One point for anything that lands in the sand; loss of a point for anything landing outside the sandpits; the bill for anything that requires replacement due to fire or ash damage. The prize: A tee-shirt imprinted "I was the best Butt-Flicker at Zimmy's", or somesuch.   

       Emptying the spitoons isn't going to do much for your hangover the next morning, but at least it helps keep your landscape butt-free and and safe from fire, while perhaps adding the extra incentive you apparently need to quit.
—jurist, Oct 29 2003
   

       "flush it away down the sewer pipes". FANTASTIC!! Straight into the nearest ocean.   

       I've got a better idea. STOP SMOKING. This is the 21st century. Time to realise how utterly crap that smoking is.
—briandamage, Oct 29 2003
   

       Flick 'em into the pool. Eventually, it'll make it's way into the pool filter, thus double-filtering the water. Well, if the ciggie was filtered, anyway.
—thumbwax, Oct 29 2003
   

       Did you know that the toilet was invented by a man named John Crapper?   

       Hence why we call it the john or the crapper.
—DesertFox, May 12 2004
   


 

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