Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Burn it with Water

Device to turn your weeds into compost, not toxins, and also do some nice watering.
  (+6)
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This is a backpack mounted device with a small two-stroke engine, used for electricity generation. The electricity powers a coil in a large cannister of water making up the bulk of the backpack. There are two outlets from the cannister; below the water level and above, and an attached sprayer to switch between the two. Some models could have an attached hose for longer operation.

This allows for this sort of action:

A homeowner, awakes. The sun is rising. The clouds are coming. And outside, he knows the weeds are growing!

Hat on! Shirt on! Pants on! Feet on the floor! Wasting no time, get out of the door! Into the shed and into your contraption Off to the backyard to get into weed action!

Spraying and steaming and wilting the weeds! Cooking and boiling and poaching weed seeds! Steam for bad leaves, water for the ground, All with a rumbling two-stroke sound!

Then throw down some carrots, courgettes and some pea! Safe knowing they live in a land more or less weed-free! Or snail free! Or frogs! or small cats and dogs! The one caveat you should not do this in togs!

mylodon, Aug 29 2017

Mower Steamer
[xaviergisz, Aug 29 2017]

Steam Weed Killer https://www.amazon....olour/dp/B015QJVD96
Looks like this is baked. [prufrax, Aug 30 2017]

Powerful Butane Gas Weed Wand Blowtorch Garden Torch Weeds Killer Burner Blaster https://www.amazon....dp/B00DJ62JO2?psc=1
nearly it. with a nicely memorable name as well. [mylodon, Aug 30 2017]

Crocodile https://en.wikipedi...Churchill_Crocodile
Ideal for removing stubborn weeds, inconvenient forests, and enemy bunkers. [8th of 7, Aug 30 2017]

Crocodiles http://www.crocs.co...hw:20170831010008:s
Can be worn to the beach, strangely enough. [RayfordSteele, Aug 30 2017]

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       // A homeowner, awakes. The sun is rising.//   

       Ahh, it's morning ...   

       <Col. Kilgore>   

       "Smell that? You smell that? .... Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.... I love the smell of napalm in the morning."   

       </Col. Kilgore>   

       // Off to the backyard to get into weed action!//   

       Kill 'em all ...   

       // Spraying and steaming and wilting the weeds! //   

       Sp. "Gooks" ....   

       // All with a rumbling two-stroke sound! //   

       Hueys have gas-turbine engines...   

       // they live in a land more or less weed-free! Or snail free! //   

       ... and safe for Democracy... or baseball ...   

         

       // Or small cats //   

       Sp. "Or all cats" ....
8th of 7, Aug 29 2017
  

       I actually want this device. I am on a steep hill so I need the backpack. How to kill life in chunks of dirt without poisoning everything? Maybe even microwaving? i have so many weeds the solutions all have to be metaphorically nuclear, and they have seeds down deep.   

       I like that steam mower.. I will bun it.
mylodon, Aug 29 2017
  

       This is without a doubt the best poem I've read all day, and an interesting idea to-boot. (+)   

       Would it work though? Would the same concept drive away insects without harming the plant?
If so it's a winner.
  

       "What do we burn apart from weeds?"   

       "More weeds!"
RayfordSteele, Aug 30 2017
  

       Um, what's a tog? Is it like an Ugg or a clog?
RayfordSteele, Aug 30 2017
  

       It's like your pants but with less legs.
mylodon, Aug 30 2017
  

       Togs: clothes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 30 2017
  

       So, boil plants while naked? Let me snap a video for the grand prize when the hilarity commences...
RayfordSteele, Aug 30 2017
  

       Togs is what you wear to the beach. This is what they tell me.
mylodon, Aug 30 2017
  

       // Togs is what you wear to the beach. //   

       Gr. "Tog is what you wear at the beach" -nonsensical, since "togs"is always plural, hence"Togs are what you wear at the beach" is the only correct form.   

       // This is what they tell me. //   

       Who do, the voices in your head ... ?
8th of 7, Aug 30 2017
  

       //Togs is what you wear to the beach// You are clearly living in the wrong country. "Togs" is a general term for clothes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 30 2017
  

       // living in the wrong country. //   

       Living in the wrong reality, more like ...
8th of 7, Aug 30 2017
  

       'Togs', as a singular concept, around which conversations can be had, IS what you wear at the beach. It's just one concept you are wearing. And you are not wearing pants.
mylodon, Aug 30 2017
  

       Link for reference?
RayfordSteele, Aug 30 2017
  

       On my spherical sector, togs, the word, is synonymous with the words 'swimming costume'.
wjt, Sep 01 2017
  

       // togs is synonymous with swimming costume. //   

       Gr. "togs are synonymous with swimming costumes."
8th of 7, Sep 01 2017
  

       Togs are swimming clothes.   

       (A tog is a swimming clothe?)   

       Togs is a synonym for swimming costume.   

       (Togses is a synonym for swimming costumes?)
notexactly, Jan 12 2018
  

       "Togses" sounds a bit like "toxins", now you mention it.   

       Do they have related meanings in this idea?
Wrongfellow, Jan 12 2018
  

       This is a no togses idea.
mylodon, Jan 12 2018
  


 

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