Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Bundy pants

Pants with a front middle pocket
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I must be reaching a certain age when I look down and realise where my hand has ended up. To avoid sweatiness and the spreading of short & curlies there obviously needs to be a pocket there.
oscil8, May 14 2012

Eg http://www.wyvernleatherworks.com/photos/
I think that these nice folks might be able to help you get yourself a pair with a bit of persuasion. [skinflaps, May 14 2012]

[link]






       Are you trying to tell us your public masturbation is "completely inadvertent", [oscil8]?
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       At what age, precisely, does one cease to be aware that one's hands are down the front of one's pants? I ask because I'm currently 33, and repetitive experimentation throughout the course of the day has led me to the conclusion that I have not yet reached that age.
Alterother, May 15 2012
  

       That's not what you have to worry about, [Alterother]. It's when you reach the age that you stop noticing when your hands are down the front /other people's/ pants that you really need to be concerned.   

       Anyway, when I see Bundy, for some reason I think Ted rather than Al, and thought perhaps these were pants that were designed to disguise bloodstains or something.
ytk, May 15 2012
  

       Oh, I thought it referred to the Bundy clock, as used to record start and finish times for factory workers.
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       // "completely inadvertent" // Totally. Also I was leaning on the mantelpiece doing some vacuuming while waiting for the laundry to finish so I could put some clothes on when I slipped and fell on the pet gerbil, and when I jumped up I got stuck to the vacuum nozzle. It's the god's honest truth doctor.
oscil8, May 15 2012
  

       Hah, I'm enjoying the Bundy reference too - that was a great show - plus, nearly 20 years later (was it really that long ago?) I'm finding myself adopting the same "stance" whilst reclining upon my chez longue.
zen_tom, May 15 2012
  

       >when I jumped up I got stuck to the vacuum nozzle.   

       Strictly in the spirit of scientific enquiry I did once vacuum myself about 10 years ago(as a "oh no, no time for a shower" Plan B).   

       Even not going anywhere near the delicate bits I can tell you it hurts like hell when the nozzle clamps onto the skin, and you smell just the same afterwards, so doesn't work.
not_morrison_rm, May 16 2012
  

       //it hurts like hell when the nozzle clamps onto the skin//   

       Leave me out of it.   

       Sounds flappingly painful.
skinflaps, May 16 2012
  
      
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