h a l f b a k e r yMy hatstand runneth over
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Midnight. What the heck was that noise? Sort of "Roo-umph!"
Power up PC, launch "BUMP-IN-THE-NIGHT. Screen has categories "Ticking", "Metallic Whirrs", "Thumps", "Whooshes", "Indescribeably weird", etc.
You select "Low rumbling", listen to Humpback Whale Songs, etc. Decide on "Stomach Rumbles",
go to bathroom, go back to bed, blissfully asleep in 20 seconds.
Program also provides Sonagrams for most, and musical notation for some.
See also: "Noise Triangulator" submitted by Timvasquez.
Bump
http://www.fireflyc.../humorous.html#bump
By the last surviving Goon, Spike Milligan. [Aristotle, Apr 17 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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I would prefer this to be built into the alarm clock or whatever appliance is by your bedside to be used while you are semi-concious. This way you could grab it and use it to work out what is going on. |
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Love Fireflycafe, Aristotle. Thanks. |
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Mostly, it's the noise of all your household appliances cooling down that causes the noise (and the neighbours of course). You're just adding another one to the list. |
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Would the categoies include "Masked-Prowler-Entering-Ground-Floor-Living-Room-Window"? How about "Stalker-Ex-Boyfriend-Slipping-Unpleasant-Surprise-Into-Mailbox"? |
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Sure would. COMPLETE SILENCE = Masked-prowler-entering ground-floor-living-room-window. DOG BARKING = Stalker-ex-boyfriend-slipping-unpleasant-surprise-into-mailbox. |
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Maybe this would need a radar/sonar component that recognises the maladies mentioned by [melanerpes]. |
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oh, I see now. I'm sorry, I thought this was some sort of social program. I was all ready to sign up, but then I read the idea... *ahem*. |
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I dig this idea, but it would kinda defeat the purpose of my dream house (Film Noir Home) so I'll have to think mull this over for a bit... |
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