h a l f b a k e r yMagical moments of mediocrity.
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Bum Gum
Improve the smells from your bottom and help mankind. | |
Imagine a type of chewing gum but instead of throwing it on the floor for fellow citizens to step on, you shove up your bottom and your farts smell like mint.
Also, insert several at once to bung you up entirely, for cases when you've really got to go for a number 2, but there's no place to go.
[link]
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You have taken two existing ideas (namely chewing gum and butt plugs) and completely rectum. Besides the concealment of indoles and skatoles is not as alimentary as you think. |
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This idea fails in theory, but more so in its application. |
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Methyl Salicylate (the most common mint flavorant) is a rubefacient. Apllied to the thin walls of an area with high capillary density will cause you *piles* of problems. |
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In your initial testing phase, I recommend you skip preparations A thru G. |
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How about just chewing & swallowing it? |
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this solves the age old problem of how exactly to coat excrement with chewing gum... |
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I vote for this because of the bubble blowing applications. |
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I would like to point out that should one wish to mooch a piece of this product off of someone, one could bum bum gum. Should an actual hobo do the mooching, one would then observe a bum bum bum gum. Which one would say according to the opening of Beethoven's Fifth. |
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The last time I took antibiotics I noticed that they made my farts smell different. With hindsight it's obvious really (though for some reason it wasn't mentioned in the three page standard list of every side-effect known to mankind). But it makes me wonder if future technology might be able to influence the smell in controllable ways. |
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Just take one pill in the morning and your farts will smell of "Summer Fruits", "Ocean Breeze" or whatever the marketing department can come up with. |
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I wonder how many times [jutta] has stared down
the wrong end of a bum idea. My guess would be
larger than our *new* national deficit. |
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha funny wouldn’t it get stuck! |
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// fails in theory, but more so in its application // [marked-for-tagline] |
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