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If you're like me, you don't quite enjoy smelling of your spouse's "brand" when you climb out of bed in the morning.
Using a light, flexible and non-gas permeable material, why not fashion some comfortable underpants with an elastic waistband and legbands to hold in their stench? It doesn't end there...
The pants would be ventilated through a "hose" of similar material with a battery operated, low rpm exhaust fan at the end. The fan could be mounted on a sill and would blow out the bad air through your odourless slumber.
I realize this solution is far from perfect: If your spouse/sig. other is a fitful sleeper they're sure to get tangled in the hose through the night. If the hose gets crimped, it collapses and pollution accumulates in the Fart Pants.
Perhaps a Fart Blanket would be a better idea and could ventilate the entire bed...
FlatD.com
http://www.flat-d.c..._u4oCFQm0EAodjDztQA
Their avowed aim is to touch you by putting something in your pants. Just say no. [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2007]
And you thought you were kidding ...
https://www.buybettermarriageblanket.com/
... about the fart blanket. [jutta, Dec 05 2010]
[link]
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Believe it or not this is already baked and patented. I saw it on a patent search sight in their strange patent section. |
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There goes *that* million dollar idea... |
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Possibly put a carbon filter instead of complex extraction pipe/etc? My wife has talked of this before. |
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Am I the only one who has never before
encountered the concept of a
transferable fart-smell? Is [Gummyjane]
unusually absorbent in this respect, or
is his/her spouse unusually odorous?
(Sorry, that was not meant as a purely
facetious comment - it's just that I've
never heard of this phenomenon
before.) |
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I would be very suspicious of anyone
who attempts to offer you a flatulence-
related product: these people have
sinister motives. I quote from the
website of Flat-D.com: "Over the past
3-years, we’ve been able to touch and
help thousands of people around the
world".[link] |
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Why not just sleep in big oblong boxes?
Side by side? |
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//Why not just sleep in big oblong boxes? Side by side?// |
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And when only one person wakes up in the morning, we have a good idea who the culprit of flatulence is... |
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Hmm. I'm thinking donning what's basically a "gas diaper" might have negative impact on a couple's love life. |
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"Hey babe, wanna get hot 'n heavy? Lemme just take this gas diaper off first." |
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And no, trying to sex them up like a woman's version with fishnet stocking attachments or crochless gas diapers wouldn't help. Neither would a guy's version with lipstick kisses printed all over them. |
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