h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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Almost all Christmas lights are aftermarket systems.
There's the dreadful annual ritual of climbing ladders in the freezing drizzle and attempting to attach them to the property; then a few weeks later the misery of getting them all down again and packing them away.
But if you buy your home* from
BorgCo, you can have your Christmas lights installed at build time. Choose from a wide range of designs and configurations, in the knowledge that the wiring will be permanently and safely integrated into the exterior structure, with low voltage transformers, earth-fault interruptors, and remote controls.
When the festive season arrives, and your neighbours are climbing ladders, cursing and struggling, just sit back and activate your display from the comfort of your armchair.
*For technical reasons, all BorgCo accommodation is constructed to a cubic design.
[link]
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//For technical reasons, all BorgCo accommodation is
constructed to a cubic design// |
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<recalls an old shtick about putting an Irishman in a round
room then telling him to sit in the corner> |
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<considers possible applications for defeating the Borg> |
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I was shopping today in the shop and the buxom shop assistant had built-in christmas lights under her christmas jumper. Based solely on that experience I have to [-] |
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Guaranteed to be out of date by next year,
guaranteeing home turnover.. |
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Ofally good use of lights. |
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// christmas lights under her christmas jumper. // |
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May we enquire exactly how you obtained this information ? Was is consensual, or have you spent the last few hours in a police interview room ? |
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// Guaranteed to be out of date by next year, guaranteeing home turnover.. // |
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If you keep quiet about that, we'll cut you in on the deal; or you can have a cheap franchise for our "Christmas Lighting Redecorating service". |
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+ if the lights are all red. |
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What's needed, shirley, is for fibreoptic bundles to be
embedded in the mortar when the bricks are laid, emerging
externally at regular intervals, and internally in a small
control room. Then, any pattern, timing or colour of lights
could be displayed. |
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My neighbours across the street have Christmas lights that
they leave installed all year, and only turn on around
Christmas. They're LED, so no worries about bulbs needing
to be replaced. |
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