h a l f b a k e r yNow, More Pleasing Odor!
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As has been pointed out (link), reading a newpaper on an
iPhone deprives you of the opportunity to rattle your paper
in
harrumphing disapproval.
But there's another problem. As anyone who has travelled
in
an overcrowded first-class carriage will know, the simple
arms-akimbo gesture of
opening out a broadsheet
newspaper
is actually a socially-laden male dominance gesture. The
iPhone experience, by contrast, lessens the breadth of
man's
soul in direct proportion to its physical width.
Fortunately, this problem can be solved. What is needed is
a
pair of wings, each 18 inches wide, attached to a central
iPhone holder. These wings include some basic motion
sensors, linked Bluedentally to the iPhone. In this way, the
folding and opening of the wings can tell the iPhone to
display the next (or previous, depending on the gesture
used)
page of the newspaper.
With this device, the dominant male can stake out his
horizontal territory as clearly and as boldly as he can with a
physical broadsheet newspaper.
Phone rattling app
Paper-rattling_20app
[MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 15 2014]
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Annotation:
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So, sitting next to this variety of prick, am I at least able to
shoulder surf the news on his phone? |
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False pretenses. This is merely an iPhone broadsheet emulator. I'm disappointed. |
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I assumed this would be an app which simulated a broadsheet newspaper by rapidly displaying segments of the page as you wave your phone around, using the viewer's eyes' persistence-of-vision to give the impression of a complete newspaper. |
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