h a l f b a k e r yAmbivalent? Are you sure?
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Britney Spears, or any other celebrity about to give birth, would do well by leaking a video to the press of the special moment, to counter waning product sales.
'A break-in at the Spears mansion resulted in several videos going missing - including footage shot in hospital of the actual birth of her
new child.'
Much like Paris or Pamela, the public will never doubt what those marketing them will have them believe.
[link]
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Yes. Of course, I believed M. Jackson would have come out with an "Anthology of King of Pop Jokes, Bawdy Recollections, and Classic Zingers" to counter gossip and to cash in his name recognition. To no avail. |
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Ew! And she was like "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod" and I was like "Ohmygod" and she was like "Gimmeanepiduralgoddamit!" and I was like "no hway" and she was like dilating and I was like "gross, have some decency" and she was like "shutup and get out of my shot bitch" and I was like "Duh" and she was like... |
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[zen tom], yes, but don't they say "I was all..." instead of "I was like..." now? |
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Oh I don't know, I'm not as hip to the jive as I was back in the day when Britney first stormed up the hit parade with 'Hit me Baby One More Time'. If so, simply perform a find and replace, a feature that would come in handy in the real world in these situations... |
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Find: "Britney Spears"
Replace: "" |
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I didn't have to read the idea - the title said it all.
I didn't have to see who wrote it - the title said it all. |
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I knew he was thinking it when I woke up this morning. |
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By, um, the look on his face? |
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I am sorry, I don't see a single good reason to have an idea like this. I think you are trying to insult the public as a whole for believing anything they read/see about celebrities....but if that is the case, I do not see why anyone would want to encourage this. |
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Okay, might we also consider a market for celebrities bieng born? Hear me out. |
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Celebrity birth videos can only be used on 50% of the celebrity population. Indeed not all female celebrities give birth, so lets include a non maternal factor, lambda, equivalent to the probability that any given female celebrity will give birth. A rough estimate yields a lamda value of .67. So celebrity birth videos approximately tap .5*.67 = .335 of the celebrity population. |
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On the other hand, every celebrity is born at some point, so there is virtually no distinction between the celebrity population and that viable for birth videos. |
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However, more people want to see britney scream for satan whilst a bloody filthy creature oozes from her gaping vagina, than watch her squirt from her mom's gaping 'V'. I suspect, nonetheless, that this difference is pale in comparison to the difference of celebrity populations described above. |
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At any rate, any competitive buisness plan will capitalize off both sides of this squirmish market. [+] |
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[babyhawk] yes I am trying to insult the public as a whole - and funnily enough I get paid to do it. |
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Paid to do it?? I thought you did it for the love of the job... |
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My illusion has been shattered. |
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Fishbone for [daseva]'s anno which, while accurate and pertinent to the issue, rather disturbs one's breakfast. Plus, you just wanted to get the word "gaping" in there. |
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I had my suspicions as to who wrote this when I saw the title, and having a look here confirmed it. |
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And what [DrCurry] said - ew. |
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she could always sell her placenta on ebay |
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[ff] Replace with what? Something that would become equally as pervasively annoying? |
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Rayford: um, I think you missed friendly's point. |
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"..and in news just in from Iraq, a suicide bomber has detonated his device in the crowded goat meat market in south central Baghdad this morning...we have some vision of the scene coming live to you now... oh my god. Oh the humanity. I'm sorry if that footage upset some viewers but here at Fox we believe in bringing you both the good and the bad side of the news. |
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Well, moving on to football now and the Patriots had a huge running game against.......sorry? ...what? I'm getting advice that the previous story was in fact not a goat meat market.... Britney who?...oh my god. Oh the humanity...." |
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[RayfordSteele] Replace with nothing. |
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A bit like giving the world a Spearsectomy. |
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benfrost, you cynical bastard |
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A radio station where I live, 100.3 The
Buzzard, ran a bumper a while
back.."We don't listen to Britney Spears'
music, but we'd still pin 'er legs back
like a spring chicken." *PKAW!* |
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I've oft wondered when Britney's name will introduce a new verb meaning into the English language -
SPEAR (verb): to attempt to compensate for a palpable lack of charisma and meagre performing skills by having telegenically perky bosoms. |
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As in, "Britney spears. So does Jessica Simpson." |
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Why not? After all she's already a noun, as in "Do you fancy going out for a couple of britney's after work?". |
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"she was all" vs. "she was like" |
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I've heard "she was all like... and then he was all like..." |
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if you were a fruitgrocer u could always try marketing Britney's Pears. |
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