h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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This briefcase is designed to hold a filled coffee mug while being moved. Not a sealed travel mug: a regular, open top ceramic coffee mug. Simply place the mug in the briefcase, and close the lid. A silicone gasket clamps down tightly onto the top of the mug, preventing leaks in any orientation.
A
gravity latch prevents the briefcase from being opened in anything but a level position. Once opened, a mechanism retracts the gasket from sight, leaving onlookers puzzled as to how you managed not to spill.
[link]
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The DeLuxe version should include a means of keeping the
beverage at a user-selected temperature. |
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Coffe or tea that has been kept warm is disgusting. Better to have a concealed brewing machine so you can start the brew as you enter the building, ensuring it is ready for when you open your briefcase at the crowded meeting table. |
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Hmmm. There are some proper espresso machines
that would fit in a slightly-wider-than-normal
briefcase. A few batteries and an inverter would do
the job. |
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The inverter is an unnecessary complication. |
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It takes about 100000 joules to heat a mug of water from 20C to
100C. To do that in 5 minutes requires a power of about 350
Watts, neglecting losses. At 12V, that's roughly 30 Amps, and
requires a 2.5 AHr battery. But realistically, batteries are rated
on their C/10 discharge curve, so to avoid damaging the cells, a
48V 2AHr unit is indicated. Using a LiIon chemistry, that's about a
kilo, and will occupy about 10% of a typical briefcase, so it's
more or less practical. |
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Insulation is insufficient. While the coffee may remain warm, volatile organic compounds responsible for its characteristic aroma and flavour will evaporate into the airspace above the mug. |
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Fortunately, the deluxe version of this device includes an argon pressurization system, forcing these compounds to remain in solution. |
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Forget batteries, an internal pre-meeting hand-cranked flywheel could provide the energy needed to brew an entire pot of coffee, and having your briefcase ever so slowly lower to horizontal after you set in on the boardroom table on a kilter is just a bonus. |
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Something shiny with a red digital readout; that'll wow them at the airport. |
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//an internal pre-meeting hand-cranked flywheel could
provide the energy needed to brew an entire pot of
coffee,// |
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"Unfortunately sir there was a problem with the sales
meeting, an uncontained flywheel failure took out the
Japanese contingent before I could get a signature." |
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I'm unemployed and I STILL want this. |
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//I work in an aerospace factory// |
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For the best coffee, fresh water is required. For the absolute freshest water, you'll have to make your own. |
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A standard coffee mug holds 350 mL water, just over 39 grams of which is hydrogen. A simple low pressure vessel can contain this in a little over three litres. Add a regulator, ignition system, and condenser, and you'll have the freshest coffee in the office. Add a fuel cell, and recharge your phone at the same time. |
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Two cups are much better. |
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If this briefcase also contained a filtration system to extract water from urine, you would be able to discreetly relieve yourself into your briefcase on a long train journey and then be rewarded with a steaming mug of coffee when you reached your destination.
I would prefer really that this briefcase contained not a mug of coffee - which demonstrates a lack of sophistication - but a china teapot of freshly made Assam tea, a tea-strainer, three or four cups and saucers, a small jug of milk and some freshly-toasted crumpets. |
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// filtration system to extract water from urine, // |
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Reverse osmosis can do that, |
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But if you've got fresh urine, why not just chill it and serve it in a glass
marked "Foster's Lager" ? |
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Finely divided milk powder dispersed in air is explosive,
MUHWHAHAHAHA ! |
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If your breakfast tea is unsatisfactory, you need to speak to your
butler at once. |
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His butler's chilling it apparently... a disturbing practice
common in the colonies. |
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And serving it in a labelled glass by the sounds of it. |
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badly made tea served at frigid temperatures in a vulgar
glass... it's no wonder they prefer coffee in paper sippy-
cups. |
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More deserving of pity than condemnation... but let them be
condemned anyway. |
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