h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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If the ceiling of a house was replaced by a tarpaulin to act as a diaphragm, then the house could be ventilated by moving the diaphragm up and down.
The diaphragm could be either motorized, or manually operated by someone turning a crank.
On the up-stroke, air would be drawn in through windows,
on the down-stroke, air would be expelled. Depending on the speed of the inhalations or exhalations, a breathing or wheezing sound would periodically fill the house.
A quick downstroke of the diaphragm (a cough) might be useful for expelling contaminants.
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What would be between the roof and the diaphragm? This space has to have ventilation also or else the diaphragm won't move. You could use a fan, turning in one direction to blow air in, thus moving the diaphragm down, and then reverse it to blow air out, thus raising the diaphragm and sucking air in the windows.
Or you could dispense with the diaphragm and use an attic fan and a recording of a wheezing house. |
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Most attics have ventilation, so the diaphragm would simply cause the attic to breathe opposite to the rest of the house. |
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Since the house is breathing, could it have vocal cords? |
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I suppose you could make a rubbery window covering with a slot in it, that will create a moaning sound when the air passes through... |
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Having lived in a house with no roof other than a tarp while under construction, I can tell you that this is not fun. |
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First, the diaphram is going to snap and pop up and down with every slight wind change. |
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Second, it will attempt to disassemble your house as it lifts off like a sail. |
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Third, it will sag and collect rain during every storm, threatening to crush and flood your home. |
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Other than that, great idea (+) |
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