h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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In the Valentine's Candy Heart tradition, each of these plump, 2 inch hearts have a little saying on them; "Be Mine", "I Do", "U R Sweet", "4 Ever", "Cute Stuff", "Lick Me", and the like, or with custom sayings if desired. They are not candy, though. They are made from highly compressible sponge, such
as used in magician's cup-and-ball acts.
Hundreds of these are packed into a 4 x 6 x 2 inch high box dressed up as a can of Spam for camouflage (spamouflage?... no.), or other appearance to blend in with the surroundings. The box is equipped with a timer which will unlatch the top from the back allowing all sides to collapse.
Place boxes inconspicuously in your lover's cabinets, refrigerator, microwave, on the mantle, the closet shelves, in their car, their office, etc. Anywhere and everywhere to shower them with affection. Set the timers to hit zero while they're away. They'll love you for it, I promise.
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I thought this would be a proposal advocating the redesign of the human heart to make it easier to replace, service, or store.
But this one's nice, too. |
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Heh, I somewhat thought that too, strangely. |
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In the news today, a trailer-load of Box-Shaped Hearts exploded prematurely this morning on a busy on-ramp, causing a massive traffic jam which resulted in lengthy delays for thousands of commuters. At this hour workers with shovels and leaf blowers are still clearing away piles of the small sponges in an effort to open up the roads in time for tomorrow morning's rush hour. We contacted the manufacturer who is baffled as to the cause of the Valentine novelty's early deployment, but this reporter has heard rumours of a terrorist plot which preys on the innocent and loving image of traditional Valentine's Day celebrations. FIlm at eleven. |
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<Licks heart with the message "Lick me"> |
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Nice idea, it should be edible sponge though, and dissolve upon contact with the stomach acids. |
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(Mmmm.... sponge cake... needs more jam) |
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Fine - lets jam it in the more *GRN* *HRNNNG* *Get in there!* |
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Nice 'Alice in Wonderland-ish' interpretation, [squeak]. |
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