Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Booze buster pills

 Drink and drink but never get drunk
 
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There are oftne occasionas when one feels obligated to drink but cannot afford to get drunk. Individuals in high stakes poker games or undercover cops would benefit from a drug which would rapidly metabolize the alcohol, giving them a Gallic tolerance to hooch. The first step in alcohol metabolism is done by the alcohol dehydrogenase enzyme. I propose a drug composed of chips of zeolite or some other non-absorbed substance with a high surface area. To this would be attached recombinant alcohol dehydrogenase enzyme. The pills may need to be coated so as to pass throguh the acidic stomach, which mugh hurt the enzyme. They should work equally well in the small intestine. The additional enzyme would proportionately augment alcohol metabolic capacity. The next day, the spent pills would be harmlessly passed.

The pills would come in doses which could be titrated to the amount of heavy drinking planned. One pill might be sufficient to keep from making an ass of yourself at the office Xmas party. Five pills might be taken before a shot contest like the one in Indiana Jones.

—bungston, Jan 05 2003

Alcohol dehydrogenase http://www.rcsb.org...ecules/pdb13_1.html
[bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

Acetaldehyde and asians http://www.acponlin...01sep97/metabol.htm
Another pill might be necessary to augment acetaldehyde metabolism, especially for Asians. [bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

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       Someone been watching Revenge of the Nerds?
—AfroAssault, Jan 05 2003
   

       Sounds like a good way to mitigate one's alcohol intake while simultaneously throwing them down; best of both worlds, if you ask me. Say I want to drink a lot (hypothetically speaking), but I don't want to get more drunk than I really need to be - I just pop one of [bungston's] pills mid way through my bout.   

       After all, it's about drinking, not getting drunk.   

       *hic*
—snarfyguy, Jan 05 2003
   

       AA - was this idea in Revenge of the Nerds?? Or was it just the tone of the post?
—bungston, Jan 05 2003
   

       I'm sure we've done this one before, except I can't find it.
—DrCurry, Jan 05 2003
   

       You can't find it, or you're *too drunk* to find it? Hmm? I'd say you need some Booze Buster pills, buster!
—snarfyguy, Jan 05 2003
   

       I think the one done before was "a magic pill that negates the effects of alcohol"; this one proposes a mechanism. I don't know enough to know whether the mechanism would be effective or not.
—bookworm, Jan 06 2003
   

       bungston - I can't remember which Nerds it was, I think it was Revenge, but the Tri-Lams have Toshiro take a pill that counteracts alcohol's effects in order to win a bike race (they drink a beer after every lap, and I think it was a 20 lap race. Twenty beers, good God!).
—AfroAssault, Jan 08 2003
   

       i think a much better solution would be like that in ghost in the shell where your artificial liver just cleans it out for you, no pills needed.
—yokuyakuyoukai, Jan 08 2003
   

       "I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication." -- Oscar Wilde
—shavenwarthog, Jan 09 2003
   

       That's why you go to some one else's house to get drunk and then leach of them and get free booze! Works like a charm.
—talen, Jan 10 2003
   

       I am sensing a strong radiance of negative vibes emanating from your person.
—talen, Jan 10 2003
   

       From the parade precipitation department: there's still the risk of methanol poisoning if you drink large enough quantities, even if you metabolise the ethanol.
—kropotkin, Jan 10 2003
   

       What are you drinking that has methanol in it, kroppy? If you are already blind and cannot see what it is, you could describe its smell.
—bungston, Jan 10 2003
   

       The problem with using the dehydrogenase enzyme to metabolise ethyl alcohol is that it modifies other natural alcohols in our bodies as well. Dehydrogenase turns methanol into formaldehyde in such large quantities. The fermaldehyde then destroys proteins, particularly in the retina, causing blindness (if nothing worse).
—Mikloth, Jun 01 2005
   

       It would seem that methanol ingestion is a common practice among halfbakers.
—bungston, Jun 02 2005
   

       For once, I agree with [UnaBubba]. If you want to get drunk, get drunk. If you don't want to get drunk, don't. I don't have much tolerance but I can drink beer all night with family and not get drunk by spacing out each beer--wait an hour, etc. Or I can get drunk with my buddies by slamming back brews rapidly. It's not difficult to differentiate the two.   

       The other potential purpose of this drug--winning contests--is kind of like shooting up meth and steroids to win the 100 yard dash. Sure, you'll get the medal, but are you really a winner? It's even worse in this case because you're having an informal contest between friends. How much of a shit can you be, to cheat on something that's only going to get you bragging rights--by altering your metabolism with drugs, no less?
—disbomber, Jun 02 2005
   


 

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