h a l f b a k e r yRIFHMAO
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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This is a customization to any moderate sized aircraft. It is a glass bulb that extends the length of two queen beds, that attaches to the bottom of a passenger aircraft. The bulb is slight enough that it has minimal aerodynamic effects.
There is enough room for the aforesaid queen bed along with
a small table and two chairs, available for board games.
Blimp Class customers can purchase time in the bulb; from 30 minutes to a full 17 hours, between takeoff and landing.
Just lay back in the bed; or compete in board games; while you slip through the clouds.
Then, scamper back upstairs during landing in the off chance something goes wrong.
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Annotation:
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[placeholder for [8th]'s standard diatribe on the follies of
flying in commercial aircraft] |
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This sounds like a downmarket version of the B-17 ball turret; although they aren't pressurized, they have the unparalleled advantage of a pair of .50 Browning MGs permanently installed ... |
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Actually, given the current level of world snarkiness,
perhaps it is time
to reintroduce gunnery positions on passenger aircraft. |
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"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Oveur
on the
flight deck welcoming you aboard flight MH447 non-stop to
Pelukistan
International Airport via Beauvais. With me is co-pilot
Maurice Steff.
Your cabin crew looking after you today are Clarabelle and
Amelia. I'd
also like to introduce our main gunner Terry Quinlan and
our man in
the ball turret, Cecil Scott. Please take this moment to
check your
seatbelt is securely fastened, and to note the position of
your nearest
emergency exit, which may be behind or beneath you." |
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You forgot to mention the Electronic Countermeasures Officer, Zubac Kozczinski ... |
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Call me thicko if you will, but if it's on the
underside, you'd have to lie face down on the
floor to see everything. Surely it would be
better to be on top of plane? |
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Think "glass-bottomed boat". On the top, there isn't much to see during the day. |
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There needs to be a small hatch, so you can drop orange peel on the passers-by. |
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//There needs to be a small hatch, so you can drop orange
peel on the passers-by// That's stupid because (a) the orange
peel would float and (b) the boat would sink. |
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Not if they were lead oranges |
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//Think "glass-bottomed boat" |
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Hmm, not entirely at home with birds being able to look up my trousers. I'd have to have bike clips, which would be a daft look on a plane. |
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From my mother's sleep I fell into the State,
And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from earth, loosed from its dream of life,
I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters.
When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose. |
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