h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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The spellings of idea titles will be corrected. |
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I think we have a winner! |
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[DrBob] will think we have a winner. |
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[MaxwellBuchanan] will correctly predict [normzone]'s
insistance on annotating fifth and making bad puns. |
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[normzone] will insist on annotating fifth, not to be confused with "taking the fifth". |
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the earliest post for "Blatantly Idiotic Predictions for 2012" will be before February 2011. |
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Two flakes of snow will fall in London. All airports, sea ports and railways will immediately be closed. Fuel will be rationed. There will be food riots. A State of Emergency will be declared. Anyone carrying a full salt shaker will be worshipped as a God, or possibly mugged. There will be panic-buying of Book Tokens. The Bible will be replaced by a copy of the script of The Day After Tomorrow. Residents of countries in high Northern latitudes will suffer uncontrolable fits of laughter, resulting in many deaths. |
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that's hardly a blatantly idiotic prediction for any year this century - that's baked or frozen or whatever ... |
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yeah but he misspelled //worshiped// in keeping with the theme of the times!! |
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The thing is, even if the sales of hundreds and thousands
runs into the millions, it's not really a big deal. |
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An N-Prize team will be the first in the world to
independently launch a truly amateur satellite. |
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Sales of hard hats will increase. |
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The ratio of new inventions to new 'ideas' on the Halfbakery will go above 1:1 at some point. |
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[8th of 7] will be involved in an 'annotation spat' with another HBer after being branded "Inventor of the Weak". |
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There will be 31 days in February 2011. |
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Someone will post a Halfbakery idea with a title length
exceeding the Degener-Chandrasekhar limit. The solar
system, then the Milky Way, then the
local supercluster will implode. Somewhere, outside of
space and time, [UnaBubba] will be chuckling quietly. |
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[wagster] will make a correct prediction |
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[hippo]'s prediction will amazingly turn out to have been right. |
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2011 shall be declared a Metric year, with ten months, ten days in each month, ten hours in each day, ten minutes in each hour and ten seconds in each minute. |
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They shall be distinguished from the old month, day, hour, minute and second by the prefix "neo". |
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//Yahoo will collapse// - that's hardly a "Blatantly idiotic prediction" is it? |
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Bakeryleaks will be launched. |
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The Halfbakery social networking site will be launched. Slavishly following the 2011 fashion for retro web design, it will make extensive use of the HTML FRAME element, Flash animations and client-side Javascript. To launch this site, the Halfbakery will be given a 'Welcome' page you have to click through to get to anything else. |
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Oh yes, that sounds mega! I'd also like to see each page sporting an animated image of a croissant shown reflected in a rippling river. Perhaps a flock of rainbow croissants could also fly around the cursor, and instead of annotations, people could be directed to leave obscene messages in a 'guestbook' of some sort. |
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The background should either be some kind of starfield image, or potentially a repeating 50x50 pattern of excruciatingly bright colours. |
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The main font *must* be comic sans. And be pink. |
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Every other link could have an hilarious icon of a 'men at work' sign where we can be informed that the page is 'Under Construction'. |
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We could also redirect all links to that brilliant hamster thing. |
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Google will offer to buy the HalfBakery for $6B, which
jutta will promptly refuse, saying "the t-shirts are all
the business model I need". |
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[jutta] will then buy a controlling interest in Google with the
profits from Halfbakery t-shirt sales. |
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Bad Science, WIBN, The Wonder Of Puns, Hamster Motivational quotes, and other similar subjects will be put on the curriculum of all major universities to be studied in depth. |
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[zen_tom] Oh, I thought you meant, {linky} |
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//2011 shall be declared a Metric year// and some clever ’baker will propose a method of slowing and synchronising the spin and orbits of the earth and moon using nuclear explosions, or possibly synchronised jumping. |
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DenholmRicshaw will post a pussy related idea. |
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[8th of 7] will work through his childhood psychological trauma, becoming a well adjusted and compassionate person. This will result in an end to his life-long feud with felis-catus, and he will turn his house into a shelter for strays as penance for past wrongs committed against the species. |
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[MikeD] is horrified to receive a lawyer's letter informing him that, since the demise of [8th of 7] in a bizarre accident involving a prototype Napalm-scented air freshener, he should expect the immanent arrival of a bequest, said bequest being a large cuboid structure housing 1,037 cybernetically-enhanced feral cats organized into an aggressive, hegemonising swarm. |
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[8th] will be “outed” as a slightly ditzy old lady living on her own in a cottage on the edge of the Cotswolds with 22 cats. |
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The Borg will finally give in and start using Spellchecker. As a
result, they will become known as the Bore. |
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//a slightly ditzy old lady //
"Slightly"? |
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We are NOT Mrs. Trellis of North Wales .... |
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[Voice] will get a 2.5 bun idea |
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I've always wondered - are the Borg Mac or PC? |
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Linux on a StrongARM platform. |
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As his body lies in a shattered mess of bloody rags, torn apart by .50 cal MG fire from [MikeD]'s turret, In the final moments of his life before [8th of 7] initiates a massive IED directly beneath him, [21Quest] realises that perhaps he has said the wrong thing. |
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[Voice] will get a 2.5 bun idea, but will forget to post it. |
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We love it when you talk dirty ... |
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[hippo] will annotate: "[Ian] will post "Blatantly Idiotic Predictions For 2010"" |
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Oh, and [UnaBubba] will come back to the HB as [Sparky the Wonder Dog] |
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[EoS]... Erm, baked, I think since 1999/2000 - (Linky!) |
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We know. We Baked it (or helped to). |
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It wasn't a prediction, rather an answer to [MB]'s off-topic enquiry. |
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The Borg are unreliable, very common, can be made relatively cheaply from parts found anywhere, and
generally follow programming from a single massive
evil entity. They are PCs. |
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At least we don't use Windows ... allow us some standards ... |
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[Jutta] will announce the introduction of the “Mad ’Bakers Tea Party”, where, on the sound of a large gong, everyone’s username will be transferred to the next person on the list. |
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That is a good 'un [pocmloc]!
I'm planning to be baked... |
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The global community will agree on a workable, effective and universally applied plan to reduce atmospheric greenhouse gases to a scientifically robust safe level. |
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The next ice-age will begin. |
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// torn apart by .50 cal MG fire from [MikeD]'s turret// |
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7.62 NATO, mate. Other than that, though; spot on. |
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Subsequently, Newton's Laws of Motion will be supplanted by Gerry Anderson's LAws of Motion, whereby an aeronautical vehicle with the drag coefficent of a breeze block can be propelled into stable, level flight by the rection mass of a small gerb-type pyrotechnic effect unit. |
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The world price of JP-1 kerosene will collapse. |
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Consecutive weekends will fall on Saturdays and Sundays.
Nobody will be able to explain this. |
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Computing and Philosophy will change places... |
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Commercial fusion power will be a mere 30 years away. |
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As the year 2010 comes to its end, a new year may
begin. |
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I will attempt again in 2011 to visit the Cedar Forest
in Wellfleet Massachusetts, Cape Cod. Again I will be
stymied by the cloaking effect the trees have on the
aforementioned forest in question. |
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In the Year 2011 pinworms will gain a tenuous, but
yet paradoxically deep seated hold, followed by the
gripping bed bug scare of August, which will happen
in Hyannis Massachusetts, unbeknownst to the many
disinterested non-onlookers. |
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Unfortunately the International Center for
Clairvoyants has cancelled its seminar scheduled for
May 2011 in Boston, due to un-forseen
circumstances. |
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DrCurry will make an annotation. |
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I will not wake up with a hangover...
or with DrCurry... |
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40% of all workplace weekday absences will occur on Mondays and Fridays. |
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A majority of workers will evade their workplaces on major holidays. |
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Just so you know, They changed the year again, The
Bastards. I figured they would, And I was right. |
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I will forget to post a blatantly idiotic prediction for 2011 before January 1st of that year, and instead post that I forgot in the form of a prediction, but it in fact will be a poor narration of the same action which is hardly a prediction at all. |
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Random halfbakery users from the early 2000s will become nostalgic and post ideas likely halfbaked already in their 5+ year absence. |
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There will be another lawsuit against tobacco
companies. This time it will be because of the
increased risk of spinal injuries. |
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[Ian Tindale] the two are not mutually exclusive. (walks away
humming "I'm in a New York State of Mind.") |
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//[Ian Tindale] the two are not mutually exclusive.// |
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They're absolutely not. Location is the no.1 piece of useful information for mobile devices to offer Context Aware Services (the whole "stuff near you" is the obvious service - and users like obvious services). It might be joined by other 'contexts' but it is a base context (sorta like an SI unit). Admittedly, 'location' can actually mean lots of things (GPS, IP address, nearfield proximity, etc... but that's a whole different can of worms)
Context Aware Mobile Services have been in research for years and as mobile devices have increased in capability, the potential apps have become genuinely possible. So, [Ian]'s prediction isn't Blatantly Idiotic - it's kinda on the cards. |
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//So, [Ian]'s prediction isn't Blatantly Idiotic - it's
kinda on the cards.// My company has been in the
process of baking it for the past few months. I'll link
to it when it's released. |
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The first global social media war will take
place, between tea-partiers, EU Muslims, the
Chinese government, pirates, the NSA, Iran,
Israel, Pakistani clerics, and hackers in
Estonia. |
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To general astonishment, the social media war will be won by a previously unsuspected alliance between Boris Johnson, k d lang, and an 88 year old great grandmother living in Inner Mongolia. |
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As a result, Canada will declare a State of Emergency. The world price of toothpicks will skyrocket. |
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Ah, good, I've been stockpiling toothpicks for years. Just had
a feeling they'd come in handy. |
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It will if they go near the Gulf of Mexico. |
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//The first global social media war will take place,// |
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Ray is doing well on that one |
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