h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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But it's been thought of right? Nothing on the web. |
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That I can find at least. |
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Might be something kind of utilitarian about the
actual
implimentation of this design it occurrs to me.
Having a little bit of room like the beak affords
you keeps your breath from bouncing right back in
your face. It would act as a cooling chamber
increasing comfort. |
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Come to think of it, I might play with the cooling chamber
idea with a slightly less creepy shape. One just featuring a
chamber below the mask that accepts the breath and gives
it a chance to cool without sticking out like the bird beak
which would be awkward and of course, very disconcerting
if a doctor walked in wearing one. |
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A search for "plague doctor mask" on eBay throws up many hits ... you'd have to add your own filter, though. |
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While the general population would find it merely curious, would you personally not be better making something that made you look more like a human, rather than as you are now, which frightens the horses, makes dogs bark, stops clocks and turns milk sour ? |
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Yes, I see that, I need to be more specific in the title. |
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This is a modern surgical mask made out of the same
permeable material commonly used only it's shaped into
that weird crow beak. |
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But it's a real surgical mask. |
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The original masks came with a stick, for prodding victims from a "safe" distance. |
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Ahh, prodding, classic medical technique. |
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"Well, yea you just poked me with a stick." |
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"Prodded, not poked, hey, who's the doctor here?
Now do you have any imbalance of bodily humors
that you know of?" WHACK! |
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"OWW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" |
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"Checking for demonic influence." WHACK! |
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"OWWW! I don't have any demons in me!" |
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"No, that last one was just for fun." |
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We can tell you're not a real doctor; the air of dispassionate sadism and unshakable self-confidence is absent. |
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Also, you failed to mention to your victim that "It's for your own good", before presenting a ludicrously inflated bill for your services. |
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Don't forget to imply (no great subtlety required) that their affliction is entirely their own fault, and you're doing them a huge favour by even allowing them to be in your presence. |
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Given that wearing a mask in public is now not only socially acceptable but de rigeur, we forsee both an upsurge in robberies and severe problems for companies trying to market facial recognition software .... |
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Guy Fawkes mask, anyone ...? |
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