h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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Next time you get to talk to a human operator just inform
them that any time you are placed on hold will be billed to
the
company. And if you are automatically placed on hold
before
even talking to anybody, just submit your phone record
along
with the bill, highlighting the call. You can
call it an 'admin
charge'.
Whether or not the company pays up is kind of besides the
point, they we soon get the message.
[link]
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An unlimited plan or any type of block plan like it is usualy paying for more service than what you'll need. |
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Companies have ways of predicting and tracking their anticipated call volumes over time and they often just don't want to pay a penny more to have more agents. |
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And I spend a lot more time on hold than I have ever put any telemarketer through. |
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//paying for the call// You're *always* paying for the call if
your time has any value. If you bill by the hour for your
regular work, you can
actually compute what it's costing you to wait on hold
instead of working. |
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//don't want to pay a penny more to have more agents//
That's the least of it. In some circumstances, it's financially
advantageous to increase the percentage of callers who give
up in disgust. |
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Telemarketers, frankly, deserve better than the walk-away
technique. For example, you can give them some
encouragement, then keep them chatting for aaages
because they think your the one-in-two-hundred who will
make a purchase. |
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("Ooooh, yes, actually, we were looking to have all our
windows replaced but we only have a budget of about
£40k. You see, Mrs. Pollard up the road - do you know Mrs.
Pollard? No, you probably won't - only she had her
driveway resurfaced last week and I took one look at it and
said how lovely it looked, and then when she popped over
with Mr. Sealcudgell from number 17 he suggested that we
get all our windows replaced but I just love this new uPVC
they make them out of these days and my eldest, Troy -
did I tell you about Troy? Only he was telling me...." etc.) |
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I use a technique with telemarketers that goes like this: |
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"Good evening sir, I'm conducting market research on behalf of...." |
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"Before we continue, please give me your name and the address of the registered office of your employer" |
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Many calls end at this point. When they actually have access to the information and offer it up, I continue with: |
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"I am recording this call. Any further calls made to this number by (company name), it's associates, subdivisions or parents, will be charged for at a rate of £20 for each occassion. Making such a call will be deemed to constitute acceptance of this legally binding contract." |
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I started doing this about three years ago - it's written on a piece of paper tucked under the phone. I now receive telemarketing calls only once or twice per year. I guess I'm on some kind of telemarketers blacklist. |
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"21Q rants deleted.
— simonj, Mar 21 2010" |
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Aww - 21Q's rants are a big part of the fun of HB. |
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On the other hand, every rant you make does cement your reputation. |
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I agree that companies owe me something for my time. but my rant involves waiting rooms in doctor offices. |
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