h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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How to make Beehive In An Amplified Piano:
1 Place a piano outside in a location where bees will be happy.
2 Have an expert beekeeper establish a colony of bees.
3 Connect the microphone contained in the piano to an amplifier and speaker system.
4 Enjoy the sounds emitting from the piano
as it naturally resonates to the bees going about their business.
https://www.smithso...es-bells-180980313/
similar idea, but with city streets and tower bells [pocmloc, Jul 18 2022]
[link]
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It doesn't seem likely they'll bump the wires much. |
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A fun image, but realistically it wouldn't take long for the bees to glue everything together with propolis, and clog the resonant spaces with honeycomb. |
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Also, few pianos are weatherproof. |
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A bit of varnish or whatever will sort the weather proofing and I'm confident that the amplified sounds emitting from the piano will be both subtle and excellent, as they resonate through every part of it. |
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//it wouldn't take long for the bees to glue everything together with propolis// |
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New profession: Bee Tuner. |
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The clogging up may be easily solvable through the use of space control. Basically its my understanding that a piano in general doesn't have a soundbox as such; the soundboard is a thin membrane of wood which is open to the air on both sides. Different pianos have subtly different designs but I think this could be a vague generalisation. But in general a grand piano is not a sealed box, you lift the lid and it is more like a frame containing a surface. |
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However, many harpsichords or earlier models of piano do have a bottom board, such that there is an enclosed chamber between the soundboard and the bottom board. |
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I'm thinking that it would be a lot more sensible to have the bees in such an enclosed chamber, so that they are not in the same space as the strings and mechanism. |
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I don't know if attaching wax comb structures to the reverse side of the soundboard would inhibit its vibration. Experiments would be needed, but my suspicion is that it would. Therefore our piano would require three segregated spaces. |
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First, the space where the strings and mechanism is. This is separated by the soundboard from: secondly, the air chamber beneath the soundboard, which allows the soundboard to vibrate freely. One side of this space is formed by the soundboard, the other side by a board, on the far side of which is: thirdly, the bee chamber. |
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Another consideration is that pianos don't actually resonate much if at all because when the piano is at rest, the felt dampers rest on the strings, preventing them from vibrating. The easy solution to this is to put a brick on the loud pedal which will lift the dampers from the strings. |
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If this was designed carefully then the piano would resonate freely and there would be no need for the microphone-amplifier-speaker system, and we could go to the place and listen to the piano rather than listening to an electrically-actuated paper cone. |
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It does occur to me that the box of an upright piano does have a certain similarity to a Langstroth hive (the 'standard' modern commercial hive). You could put frames in all the way along.
Of course, when you'd filled it full of bees it wouldn't sound much, or well, or perhaps at all as a piano (seriously - bees seem to glue everything to everything - it's hard getting the lid off sometimes). But if you just want to listen to the bees with a microphone then that probably doesn't matter.
You'll just have to clear or replace the mic every few days. |
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You are aware though that bees "play" a horror movie soundtrack right? Which for me is all that much better. |
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Wonder if we've evolved to equate a beehive sound with danger. That would certainly make sense. |
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One might hire a pianist play various tunes to see how they affect the bees. A log could be kept of which tunes coax the bees to produce more honey and which ones cause the bees to become angry and sting the pianist to death, necessitating the hire of yet another pianist. |
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//One might hire a pianist play various tunes on the piano to see how they affect the bees. A log could be kept of which tunes coax the bees to produce more honey and which ones cause the bees to become angry and sting the pianist to death, necessitating the hire of yet another pianist.// |
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If the bees are in with the strings and hammers you might get Bb |
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Lived in a house with bees in the walls for years - I know this song. |
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Man, what IS it with you and bees? Just thinking about that sound sends an unpleasant shudder down my spine! |
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I saw a bee that drowned on the beach and wrote a poem about it. Wanna hear it? No? |
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"That bee be being where it ought not to be." |
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If you had enough beehives in the walls, they'd keep your house warm in winter, and perhaps cool in summer.
If you don't want them around, you could arrange for them to enter and exit via a 'bee chimney'. Honey bees tend not to forage near the hive (they fly away and collect nectar on the way back), so provided they didn't break through into your house you wouldn't see much of them. |
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